Veiled Hearts
by McIlwain
Summary: The shadows of their parents won't prevent Jax and Tara's fate. High school years from a different perspective. Complete.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I have the best beta in the world, elbeewoods! No words can do her justice. Thank you, laura-maeve, for your insight and encouragement.**

**I own nothing.**

Jax detested high school. He only attended so the truant officer would stay off his back and away from Teller-Morrow. The clubhouse was still recovering from JT's death; the last thing he needed was some social worker nosing around and preaching how a good education could open doors for him. Jax hated it when the school workers implied that SAMCRO was synonymous with redneck thugs and wasn't good enough for someone with "his promise." What the fuck was that supposed to mean? That any man sporting a kutte couldn't possibly be a smart, productive citizen or worthy of the town of Charming? It was because of SAMCRO that drug trafficking was nonexistent in the town. The Sons of Anarchy kept Charming's business district crime free and various gangs from getting too comfortable within Charming's borders. Above all, his father JT had always preached a "brains before bullets" philosophy that prevented the club from getting too bloody. Jax was proud of SAMCRO and knew his path towards it was practically cemented in stone. And this was one road that didn't require 60 credit hours or a shiny white cap and gown.

But stepping into school each day and actually studying were two very different things. The staff at Charming High knew Jax had been biding his time until he could drop out, but now with the death of his father, the teachers didn't expect Jax to last through the semester. Jax didn't expect he would, either. The only rope he had left tying him to school was his best friend, Opie. Opie was in limbo, too – waiting for his time to prospect for the club so his life could actually start. Jax took comfort in the fact that his best friend was in the same boat himself. Jax often thought if Opie wasn't at school with him he would go absolutely insane.

Jax took his time walking to third period, his distinctive swag causing his classmates to part and make way as he strolled by. As he made his strides, Jax surveyed the asses of the few female classmates he hadn't introduced to his bed. Hell, he thought – if he had to be at school, might as well enjoy the scenery and tag some bushes.

In fact, he was so intent on returning Tricia Moore's stare he didn't notice the crash heading his way. Suddenly he felt a hard, stiff pressure across his chest and heard the heavy thump of books dropping. It startled him for a moment until he heard a scathing, "Some help, Teller," rolling off of a female voice. He was taken aback, not recognizing the way his name was called. His family and close friends called him Jax. His teachers and other authority figures addressed him as Mr. Teller.

Jax was met by a set of angry green eyes as he leaned down to help clean up the mess. Before now Jax had always thought he preferred blondes, but what he was confronted with made him question his previous choices. The girl was the exact opposite of what he usually tilted towards. This face wasn't tan-obsessed like most of the other girls. Hers was smooth and dewy and almost porcelain in color. Her hair was long, thick, and a deep chocolate brown. Jax felt himself wanting to thread his fingers through the strands to feel if it was as silky as it looked. Now Jax understood how Snow White had been able to knock her stepmother off her pedestal. He looked down, actually worried he would be caught gawking at this mystery girl, and tried to concentrate on clearing the floor of her folders and papers. But Jax's hands were shaky and he was actually slowing down the process. When the girl's books were replaced, haphazardly, into her waiting arms, Jax tried to conceal his embarrassment by giving his best smirk. "Let me make it up to you, darlin'," Jax drawled in his trademark, panty-dropping voice.

The girl responded in a huff. "Maybe the next time you'll focus on what's in front of you instead of your next screw." Jax could only stare at her as she tossed her hair and stomped off. He couldn't believe the amount of attitude coming from this chick. What had he done to deserve that? The only female that spoke to him that way was his mother, Gemma; no other girl would even consider it. Jax couldn't decide whether to be amused or annoyed as Opie and Donna walked towards him. "Ouch…that was harsh," Opie chuckled while Donna hid a smile behind her hand. Jax looked at them, completely confused. "What the fuck was that?"

"Guess the famous Teller swag finally met its kryptonite, " Donna laughed. The more Jax thought about it, the more pissed he became. Jax was normally unflappable when it came to women; he'd had more dalliances with the weaker sex at 16 than most men would have in their lifetime. And yet, Jax had allowed a virtual nobody to twist him up and then chew him out in less than five minutes. And then she just left. Even worse, he didn't know her name.

"Do one of you plan on enlightening me? Who the hell was that?" Jax kept his voice down, but Opie and Donna could hear his increasing irritation.

"Jax, that's Tara. Tara Knowles." Jax looked completely lost. "Tara's part of our class. She's nice." Donna rolled her eyes. "Don't you pay attention to any girl who's not a double D?"

Jax didn't bother to try to look offended; he was too busy processing the name. Knowles? The only Knowles he knew was Gerald Knowles, and he never seemed sober enough to be able to raise a kid.

Jax walked beside Opie and Donna until his friends entered their classroom, then bolted down the hall towards a small, cluttered storage room that was usually unoccupied. Jax closed the door after ensuring its emptiness, and placed his weight on top of an abandoned desk. Jax lit a cancer stick as he contemplated how more and more this room was becoming a refuge: from Gemma's domineering, his teachers' pitying looks, Clay's continuing presence, the list went on and on.

It had been six months since JT had passed, but Jax still felt like he could barely breathe – the shadow of his father produced an unyielding grip that he couldn't shake off. Each day held a reminder of the hole that JT had left in everyone's life. Jax jumped every time his home phone rang, half expecting it to be a call from Ireland. The sight of Piney, scowling and walking alone, reminded Jax of the best friend Piney had lost. Jax himself had lost a mentor and idol. Jax had lost the long talks he held with his father during all hours of the day and night. JT had a gift for words that always managed to soothe Jax no matter what his problems were. And it was because of JT that Jax loved to read, and the two would debate about books and their meanings for hours while inspecting and repairing cars.

SAMCRO seemed to be at a loss, and freely acknowledged that Jax was heir to the MC legacy, as if trying to remind themselves that Clay as the new President was only temporary. Jax always felt the underlying whisper of those words – that somehow he was expected to change SAMCRO. What was he supposed to do with that knowledge? Jax tried to respect Clay as the new president of SAMCRO, but his continual presence at his house, along with the closeness between him and his mother, gave Jax a bad taste in his mouth. Clay exuded a subtle craftiness in his personality that was the complete opposite of JT and his raw honesty and he didn't care for it. And how could he ever hope to compare to his father, the smartest, most courageous, and caring man he knew? The questions kept increasing in number and the hurt lingered. But by far the most hurtful thing he'd experienced was on his sixteenth birthday when the brothers had presented him with his Dyna. Jax had tried to mimic the excitement being exhibited by his brothers, but he only felt the pain of JT not being around even more. He knew if JT had been there his father would have presented it to him and it took all he had not to let that sorrow show. This storage room, with its mops, disinfectants, and abandoned furniture, gave Jax a reprieve from the chaos constantly whipping around his mind.

But the calm Jax was used to feeling after settling into this room was replaced by an almost giddy anxiety today. Jax kept racking his brain, trying to conjure up any memories he had of Tara Knowles. She obviously knew who he was – why wasn't the recognition mutual? Jax furrowed his brow, trying to concentrate. A couple of fuzzy glimpses of a young girl with a brown ponytail came into mind. As he strained harder, another memory surfaced that dealt with something about Tara's mother dying. He didn't remember the details except receiving strict instructions from his mother to be "nice," because "God knows she'll need it with that daddy of hers." Jax thought he recalled something about ice cream after that as well, but he couldn't be sure and it sure as hell didn't make any sense. He strummed his fingers on the desk in frustration. None of it made any sense. It was damn near impossible not to know everyone in Charming, it was too small for any mysteries or secrets. And yet here was this girl who had appeared out of nowhere and who had busted his chops in two seconds flat.

* * *

Jax allowed his muscle memory to take him back to the clubhouse as he rode his motorcycle beside Opie's. He kept replaying his encounter with Tara Knowles in his mind. Part of him wanted to just dismiss it, rationalizing it as a rant from some drama queen, but the other part didn't want to discount it so quickly. He wanted more information about this phantom girl. Why hadn't she shown up on his radar during high school?

Jax stayed near his bike as Opie went inside the clubhouse to say hi to his father. His sunglasses shielded him from the afternoon sun but didn't diffuse the smell of oil and asphalt emanating from the hubs of the repair shop. Lazily, Jax scanned the bodies of the uniformed crewman as they wheeled under cars and hunched over dirty engines. One of the familiar bodies he surveyed was Lowell's, a kid whose father was a mechanic at the shop. Jax knew Lowell as an underclassman, but other than that, had paid little attention to him at school or at Teller-Morrow.

Jax tried to walk as casually as possible to Lowell, not really wanting to enact the scenario he was about to set into motion, but too curious to stop. Lowell took on a look of surprise and awe when he saw Jax approaching him. Jax grinned. This was exactly the reaction he had been hoping for. Jax reached for his pack of cigarettes with the smoothness of someone who had been smoking for years. He offered Lowell one before lighting one of the sticks with his accompanying Bic. "What's up, Lowell," Jax threw out in a blasé fashion while the boy stuttered his response. Jax tried to think of some casual talk to lead them into his desired conversation, but his impatience wheel barrowed over that plan.

"Do you know a girl named Tara Knowles?" Jax was both amused and panicked at his bluntness.

Lowell seemed startled by the question, and at first didn't know what to make of it. Then, sensing Jax's tension, Lowell responded. "Yeah. She's smart. Really pretty. And nice." Lowell was proud to relay this information, but it irked Jax to no end. It annoyed him for Lowell to call Tara merely pretty when actually she was fucking beautiful. And nice? Donna had said the same thing. Jax tensed at the possibility of Tara saving her venom just for him. Irritated by the whole conversation, Jax spat out, "No fucking shit," and berated himself for even approaching Lowell. When he saw the kid's demeanor change from reverence to defeat, though, he decided to give Lowell a break. "Don't worry about it, I was just asking," Jax threw out as he walked back towards the parked Harleys. Opie was waiting for him as he returned to his motorcycle.

"What was that all about?" Opie looked at Jax curiously. "Just shooting the shit," Jax said, trying to sound as unconcerned as possible. He'd be embarrassed as shit if his oldest friend found out he had tried to pump Lowell for information about a girl. He shrugged. "Just trying to be nice to the little people, " Jax grinned. Together, they started their bikes and were about to roll out of the Teller-Morrow, but stopped at the sight of Lowell running towards them and waving his hand.

"Tara spends a lot of time in the library and volunteers at Charming Gardens." Lowell was breathless as he offered these new tidbits to Jax. Jax was happy to know where he might find Tara away from school, but was irate that Lowell spewed the info in front of Opie. Lowell seemed oblivious to Jax's stiffening jaw, though. In fact, Lowell was expectant, like he deserved a pat on the back from Jax or something. Opie simply sat on his bike with a huge grin on his face.

"You think I didn't know that?" Jax's tone was harsh. "You stopped us for that?" This time he didn't bother trying to sooth Lowell's feelings. He figured he'd save that for another day. Right now he needed to save face in front of Opie, and that meant subjecting Lowell to a tongue lashing.

"Sorry, man, thought you'd want the info." Lowell slinked back to the repair bay as Opie smirked in his direction.

"Just wanted to know where she hangs so I can bring her down to size." Jax used his calmest voice as his foot moved the kickstand. Together they rolled off the Teller-Morrow lot and proceeded to head to Opie's house for the evening.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you elbeewoods.**

**I own nothing.**

The next few school days frustrated Jax to no end. His teachers were astonished because Jax attended all of his classes for an entire week. He wasn't interested in the lectures; he was too busy scoping out his classmates to see if Tara shared any of his classes. Not seeing her in any period or in any of his classroom hallways meant she was probably in the accelerated classes with the nerds. He didn't bother to look for her in his vocational classes. He doubted she would be interested in woodshop or auto repair. Lunch hour had been a bust as well. He couldn't alter his usual routine of eating lunch with Donna and Opie without being questioned about his motives. This prevented him from walking around the entire cafeteria as well as the quad to see if she was sitting outside. The only benefit from Jax's mini obsession was the assurance that no other females had been overlooked by himself. His continual search for Tara in the hallways gave him plenty of opportunities to scan his fellow classmates and there were no new faces.

Jax finally thought to search the lines of students leaving on the cheese buses at the end of the day. No sign of her. Not many students had their own vehicles to drive to and from school each day, and Jax was positive he knew all of the kids who did. Jax gazed at the row of cars where parents picked up their children with no success. After days of effort, Jax was about to throw his hands up in defeat when he finally saw her - a striking brunette glide through the school's main doors at dismissal. He hadn't been incorrect: Tara was every bit as exquisite as his mind had told him previously. His only disappointment was that his eyes hadn't noticed her figure as well as her face. Her tight denim showcased a plump ass and long legs. Her layered t-shirts did little to hide her full breasts. Every stride she took seemed to showcase a different part of her physical being, causing his hands to shake again and his mind to become nervous. At one point Tara seemed to glance in his direction and he actually felt butterflies. Jax's surprise at his reaction was tempered only by the sudden presence of David Hale by her side. He came through the doors a moment after her departure, speeding by her side until he was able to wrap his arm around her shoulders. Occasionally, David would look down at Tara and smile like a puppy who had received a bone. Probably a literal bone, too, Jax thought in distaste.

It figures, Jax thought bitterly as he watched David lead Tara to his Mustang. He wanted to write Tara off as just another girl on the jock of the high school quarterback. A high school quarterback with a ROTC uniform, college intentions and family money. Who could compete with that? Jax jolted at the thought. Why would he even _want _to compete? Girls were a dime a dozen in his world, and Tara had to be a football hag if she was with him. But still, Jax's instincts told him that Tara was different. He felt there was something more to her, something he wanted to discover. But if Tara were truly different, why would she be anywhere near a Hale? David was an arrogant prick who thought his family was the aristocracy of Charming. In his mind, anyone who was a friend of David's was an automatic enemy of his. If Jax held onto his hard-and-fast principle he knew he would have to brush Tara off and turn the other way. That thought made him extremely unhappy as he noticed how comfortable Tara seemed in the passenger seat of David's car.

_Fuck it_, Jax thought. _Might as well have a little fun with it_. Jax jogged to his bike, started its ignition, and pretended to adjust his mirrors while waiting for David to start his car. When David pulled out of the school lot Jax did the same. He followed David's Mustang on its trip, always maintaining close enough range to ride his bumper and be an overall pain-in-the-ass. Every time David stopped at a stop sign Jax made sure to rev his engine behind him. Jax took note of the way to Tara's house as he rode. When Jax felt they were close to her house, he switched his riding position from behind David to riding directly beside. At the next stop sign Jax stopped his bike parallel to the Mustang and revved his engine as loudly as he could. The engine's loud rumbling forced the driver and passenger to turn in his direction.

Jax knew his prank had backfired because Tara threw him such a contemptuous look his heart dropped and he had to force his smirk to stay in place. Meanwhile David looked so angry steam could shoot from his ears and during normal circumstances that would have made Jax's day.

"Have a good day, kids?" Jax's voice held a cockiness he didn't feel at the moment.

Tara rolled her window down completely. "Fuck off," both David and Tara snapped angrily before driving past the intersection. Jack could only look in their direction with a grimace.

* * *

_David one, Jax zero_.

Jax's brooding over David and Tara made for a pissy mood all evening, a mindset that delayed his dozing off and caused him to oversleep. Jax groaned at the prospect of his third detection for the month as he crawled groggily out of bed. Jax felt his day plummeting further when his math teacher saw him in the school office after he received his tardy pass – now she knew he was there and was forced to attend class. Jax ducked into the bathroom as soon as class was over, thinking he would take a leak before hitting the storage room. _Pathetic_, Jax groaned to himself as he finished his business at the urinal. His refuges had narrowed to two locations: his motorcycle seat and a dusty storage space. Jax washed his hands while he decided to take a smoke break or ditch school altogether; when he reached for some paper towels, he noticed he pulled a little too harshly on the dispenser. As Jax stooped down to clean up the mess his eyes did a double take. Someone with crossed legs was sitting on top of the john and the legs were attached to a pair of ballerina flats. Curiously, Jax stepped towards the toilet stall and tapped on the door. "Hurry up, bro," called Jax while knocking on the door repeatedly. After no response, Jax threatened, "Get your ass out here. You think you're the only one that uses a stall?" Jax stepped back a couple of feet and used his Adidas to make loud, repeated kicks on the door. Finally, he heard the click of the door lock. Inside was a sitting Tara with a lit joint in her hand. His nose was immediately bombarded with the smell of weed and it smelled like a pretty good grade. Vaguely Jax wondered where Tara got her supply; he thought he was the only distributor at school.

After the surprise faded Jax's chuckles turned into outright laughs as Tara turned a beautiful shade of pink. "Didn't take you for a snitch, Teller." Tara tried to sound defiant but he heard the slight tremble in her voice and couldn't help but grin like an idiot. Tara Knowles had his mind in a tizzy. At their first meeting she acted like a self-righteous diva. Her carpools with David slanted her as a football groupie. And now here she was acting like a delinquent and in the _boys_ bathroom, no less. Tara was just a continuing series of contradictions and it only drew him in further and made him want her more.

"And ruin your standing with the school? Wouldn't dream of it, darlin'. That is, if I get my apology."

"For what?" Tara asked, her jaw dropping. She really had no idea what he was talking about. Jax felt like an idiot for obsessing over two quasi-conversations she obviously hadn't thought twice about.

"For the way you spoke to me in the hallway. And then there's the matter of your car pool." Jax pretended to shake his head in disapproval. "Poor choice of words for such an intelligent girl," Jax said while trying to keep his posture casual.

"Kiss my ass, Teller. I don't think you're funny and I'm not one of your admirers."

"And what would you know about that?" Jax teased. "You been listening to the rumors?"

"You're so narcissistic it's sad." Tara stood up from the john and tried to slide past him. Jax fell into a panic when he couldn't think of a way to stop her exit.

"Wait, let me check the hall for you." Tara looked at him confused. "The period's about to change. Wouldn't want the boys to get the wrong impression." Jax couldn't help the smirk on his face. Tara showed a look of disgust, but she knew he had a point. "Fine," Tara muttered as she walked back into the stall; it was only seconds before a few boys stepped in. Opie was the last to enter. Jax had leaned on Tara's stall door to keep her presence private. No one thought twice about it; the bathroom was constantly being used as a skipping ground.

"Where ya been? I checked the stairwell twice. You turning a new leaf or something?"

"Nah, just hanging." Jax knew he couldn't look Opie in the eye; they knew each other too well and Opie would know he was hiding something. "Meet you in the cafe in a minute?" Opie paused, then nodded his head slowly, wondering why they couldn't just walk there together.

"Yeah, just let me get Donna." Opie cocked his head towards Jax as he headed out the door.

"The coast's clear, darlin'," Jax called as the last boy exited. Tara slowly re-emerged from the john. Jax laughed some more when he saw her raise her chin. It was as though Tara was trying to maintain some dignity and Jax thought it was adorable. He walked towards the hallway door and peeked out before exiting, making sure no random kids were around. Tara walked out behind him and then began stomping down the corridor. Jax couldn't help but notice how sexy her hips and ass looked as they moved in the distance. "Hey, at least a thank you?" Jax knew he had the upper hand and he was savoring it.

"Thanks, Teller," Tara mumbled over her shoulder before turning the corner.

Well, Jax thought as he turned in the other direction, at least he knew her third period could be a study hall.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you for your support, elbeewoods.**

**This chapter is extremely short! I promise to submit another chapter on Friday to make up for it.**

**I own nothing.**

"You gotta be kidding me." Opie's look was incredulous. "You really going to ask for a test to get into a harder class?" Opie thought the events of the last few months were finally taking a toll on his best friend's brain.

"No big deal. Need something different if I still gotta couple months in this place." Jax made sure to walk a step faster than Opie so he couldn't read his face. "Besides, you're coming with me, so it won't be a total bust." Those were the only comments Jax could throw his best friend at the moment. Jax was afraid if he really analyzed his motivations for taking this evaluation it would really fuck his mind up.

"Oh, no, count me out on this, brother." No way was Opie going to subject himself to more torture on this front. Just attending each day was suffering enough.

"Surprised you haven't done it already," Jax tossed back in his direction. "You know how you get without Donna around."

"What she got to do with it?"

"Donna's in all the brainiac classes already. Thought you would maintain your place in her heart by blocking her from the dickheads in the room." Jax knew he had Opie's attention and decided to go for the kill. "Besides, you know how girls go for that romantic shit."

"I still don't understand what you get out of it."

Jax kept his voice casual. "Like I said, bro. Something different to pass the time."

Before Opie could respond, Jax strolled into the school office and planted himself in front of the counselor's desk. "Hey, Mrs. Larsen."

Mrs. Larsen looked every bit as unsure as Jax felt. "Good morning, Mr. Teller. How may I help you today?"

Jax had no idea how to continue the conversation without feeling like a total puss. "I thought I would listen to you for once. You know, try it your way."

"About….?" Now Mrs. Larsen was really confused. She had given Jackson so many lectures over the years she didn't know which suggestion may have actually stuck.

"One of those placement tests you give." Jax had to restrain himself from using the word bullshit when he described the exam. He tried to look sincere as he answered the question.

Mrs. Larsen beamed. At least he had made _someone's_ day. "I'm thrilled you're interested. According to your previous criterion test, you would do well in any of the accelerated programs. But according to your teachers, you just don't feel the need to work hard or study."

Jax brushed off the last comment. "Well, I'm serious now. But just interested in one for now, Larsen." The counselor cocked her head at her shortened name, but Jax smiled. He knew he would get away with this one. "English." Jax tried hard not to admit it to himself, but he thought that nerd English would be the best way to see Tara. No matter how he timed it, he could never seem to bump into her between classes, and he refused to lurk around the bathrooms any longer. This was his last attempt, and if it failed, fuck her.

Mrs. Larsen glanced at her wrist watch. You should be in first period now, but I think this warrants an excuse." She glanced at Opie's silent figure. "Are you interested as well, Mr. Winston?" She wasn't really surprised to see him there. Mr. Teller and Mr. Winston were best friends and always the culprits whenever mayhem erupted. The school tried to keep them apart by giving them different schedules as often as possible. There was only one A.P. English class for eleventh grade, but Mrs. Larsen was willing to place them together if it encouraged a more serious attitude from them.

Opie only gave a terse nod in reply. Jax passed Opie a silent look of thanks, knew he owed him some serious loyalty in the future.

Mrs. Larsen escorted the two students into a back conference room and allowed them to get situated at two desks. When she stepped away to retrieve the tests, Opie shot out quietly, "You even sure we can pass these fucks?"

"Not a problem, bro." Jax knew he had read enough books to ace the test. Hell, he had probably read through most of the class reading list without even knowing. And he knew Opie was smart enough to get through the fundamentals.

"You have an hour and a half to finish the exams, gentlemen. I'll serve as your proctor to prevent fraudulence and to answer any questions." Mrs. Larsen began passing out the computer answer sheets, booklets and pencils. "Ready, gentlemen?"

Jax's face was smug. "Always am, Larsen."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thank you, elbeewoods.**

**Thank you to all my readers! I hope you continue to enjoy the story!**

The sun couldn't set fast enough as Charming's teenagers got ready for the evening. The Fun Town carnival had arrived and set up shop for two nights. There was a silent agreement among the town that families attended on Friday evening. Saturday night was reserved for the teenagers and there wasn't any time to waste.

Jax was especially eager to go to Fun Town. He knew every teenager in town would be there and that would include Tara. He knew it was fucked up to be so excited about it but he couldn't help it. Jax had been right; he and Opie had passed the placement tests and would begin A.P. English soon. Jax was exhilarated at having a guaranteed way of seeing Tara but also knew it would just increase his madness surrounding her.

Jax shook his head and sighed as he threw on some ankle socks and his white Adidas. He'd thought over and over again about why he'd formed such an immediate attraction towards her. From what he could tell, they were complete opposites of each other. Jax barely came to school and certainly didn't care about academics. Tara, only the other hand, must be a serious student because she was in all the nerd classes. He was extremely popular, and even the kids who hated him wanted to be him. The town knew he was the future leader of SAMCRO, and he had already developed a reputation that involved drinking, smoking, and easy sex. Not that his future path didn't involve some occasional hiccups – an occasional fight to remind someone of who he was, a suspension here or there. But from the outside looking in, there were very few classmates who wouldn't trade places with him. Tara, however, seemed to be a ghost around the school. It annoyed him that she had the upper hand: his life was fucking transparent, while hers felt cloaked and untouchable. There were so many differences and yet he felt like she was made to fit into his life somehow.

But every attempt he'd made to approach her and find out why had ended in disaster. His little tease in the bathroom had only solidified Tara's hostility towards him. Worst yet, Jax couldn't think of any angle he could use to soften her defenses. Jax had never had a problem with his verbal swag when it came to women but now he was hitting a brick wall.

* * *

Tara turned her body back and forth in her bedroom mirror. Everything was going wrong when it came to Fun Town tonight. First Tara had decided she needed an outfit so she lifted money from her drunk father's wallet. No big deal, but it ended up being a bust because she didn't find any clothes that twenty other girls wouldn't already be wearing.

David had insisted on picking Tara up and delivering her home but that meant she would be stuck with the jocks and their groupies all night. While brushing her hair into a ponytail Tara made a note to pack a flask to dull the cheerleaders' harebrained chatter. Tara did a final sweep of her outfit before rolling her eyes: a Van Halen t-shirt that hugged her breasts and a pair of jeans that would be easier to cut off than pull off before bedtime tonight. Tara debated for a long time before finally pulling on a pair of Converse boat shoes. She knew a lot of girls would be wearing heels but only an idiot would wear them knowing they would be walking on dirt and grass. Tara thought about wearing blush but her porcelain skin always made it look clownish. Tara grimaced as she realized this was the longest she'd ever taken to get dressed. She was trying hard to ignore the motives behind her outfit but the answer kept seeping through her subconscious. Jackson Teller. Tara had no idea why just thinking the name gave her goosebumps and made her giddy. Jax had gone from simply irritating her in the hallway to being an absolute ass every time they met. He had toyed with her in the bathroom and was an absolute dick to David the other day.

So why was she trolling the hallways and school doors trying to catch a glimpse of Jax? Why was she scanning the cafeteria crowd when David wasn't looking? Why did she hold an attraction to him that she couldn't seem to shake? Tara couldn't place her finger on it but somehow she knew there was something underneath the gorgeous face and biker boy attitude. Something only she could understand and embrace. The problem was that she couldn't get past his obnoxiousness in order to get a better look.

* * *

Fun Town looked the same as always: weathered kiosks and storefronts tethered to dry dirt and weeds, all surrounding carnival rides that had seen better days. It was a pleasant Fall day, and Jax enjoyed the chill while he, Opie, and Donna wandered around the familiar sites. Jax laughed and talked as they decided what to do first, but he was constantly scanning the crowd and searching for brunettes with chocolate colored hair. After what seemed like forever, he finally saw her at a ring toss game surrounded by David Hale, his football teammates and their groupies. Jax tried to continue his conversation with Opie, but before a lull could be reached in their dialogue, before he could stop himself, his legs started ambling in her direction. He was directly behind her in minutes, trying very hard to act like he had been strolling in the area.

"Feeling lucky, huh," Jax commented, bending slightly at her back so his words waved directly into her ear. He could've sworn he saw the slightest spark in her eye after she turned from the glass bottles and overstuffed teddy bears.

"Hardly that, Teller," Tara said lightly. She begrudgingly admitted to herself that she was thrilled to see Jax and was worried she would miss him in the crowd. The problem was that she hadn't thought about what to do if she _did_ run into him. Tara knew she should still be mad at him for his prickish behavior, but she didn't have the strength to keep up the façade. Meanwhile Jax gave an inward sigh of relief. There didn't seem to be any hard feelings about the bathroom or motorcycle stunt.

"However, my _companions,"_ Tara continued with an exaggerated eye roll, "seem to think otherwise." From his periphery vision, Jax could see David Hale monitoring their conversation closely.

"Well, maybe you should hang with us for a little while." Jax tried to come off as casually as possible. He could see Tara's cheekbones begin a faint blush, but didn't know if it was due to discomfort or amusement at his presence. Jax decided he would settle for the former as long as she continued to talk to him. David commented before Tara could respond. "We're just about finished here, Tara. After that, ladies' choice."

"How gallant." Jax's sarcasm and glare were pointed directly at David. He then turned his attention back to Tara. "You really trying to stay, babe?" Jax never took his eyes off Tara. "Because you look bored as hell." Tara couldn't help but smile. That was the only affirmation Jax needed. But he sensed she would be too classy to just roll from David; she would need to think of a way to do it gracefully. The ball was in her court.

Fortunately, Donna came to both their rescues. "Come on, Tara. I'm tired of being the only girl with these fools. Let me spread the wealth a little. We need an even number of people for the rides." Donna had decided to join Jax and listen to the conversation after he had hog tailed it in Tara's direction. Tara was pretty cool, sweet and funny when one-on-one, a little more reserved in a group. She got excellent grades without trying and didn't mind sharing her notes. Donna knew that David liked Tara, but evidently he hadn't gotten up the nerve to tell her so.

Donna didn't know what it was about Tara, but she definitely made Jax sweat and she had never seen a girl do that to him before - first in the hall some days ago, and now here. Donna loved Jax like a brother, and if she could assist his cause in any way she would. Besides, it would be funny to have Jax's ego bruised a bit. Jax threw a look of gratitude in Donna's direction.

"Well, if you guys don't mind," Tara perused her original group for any protests. By this time, several of the girls had decided they wouldn't mind partnering up with the gorgeous Jax Teller. A couple choruses of "I'll come too," sprang up, much to the irritation of the jocks in the group.

"Sorry ladies, " Donna said smugly. "Then we would just end up with odd numbers again." Jax silently thanked Donna again.

David threw another curveball. "What about your ride home, Tara?" Jax had never wanted to punch David so hard in his life. Tara turned to her friend in exasperation. David had enough girls surrounding him, why did he care about who she hung out with tonight?

"I can get her home, Hale." Jax's voice was scathing.

"On your bike, Jax? What makes you think she'll jump on that death trap?"

The air surrounding their crowd had gotten overwhelmingly tense before Tara answered. "He's right." She looked at Jax, desperate for him to understand it wasn't what she wanted. "I didn't get permission to ride with anyone but David." Tara tried to read Jax's face, but it was guarded and facing David. She knew hers was a bright pink mess.

"We can walk Tara to the parking lot at midnight. Unless your curfew's earlier than that, Hale," Opie contributed to the tug-of-war.

A couple of giggles emerged from the crowd before David gave a curt nod. Donna threw her hands up. "Finally it's settled." She grabbed Tara's hand and began a half jog towards the carnival rides. Opie and Jax lingered a half-second longer in front of David's crew before following the girls, Jax and David's eyes refusing to hide their disdain for each other.

* * *

Jax couldn't remember ever enjoying Fun Town so much. It was easy to talk to Tara, and the four of them fell into a natural rhythm, the girls laughing and taking verbal jabs at the boys, Jax and Opie insisting on getting on the scariest rides.

Donna insisted on Opie winning her a prize, pointing to the storefront featuring darts and bulls eyes. Opie hung his head in submission while letting his girlfriend lead him to the game. Tara and Jax followed at a leisurely pace, allowing the space between them and their friends to give them a measure of privacy.

"So what's the deal between you and Hale?" Jax wanted to kick himself for bringing it up, but Tara always managed to break down his reserve. Tara raised her eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

Jax tried to play the question off by shrugging his shoulders. "I mean, I've seen him giving you rides and you're hanging with him tonight." Jax could actually feel his nerves fraying. He didn't know what he would do if she said David was an interest.

Tara gave a light laugh and smile. "David's a good friend. But I'm not a football hag, if that's what you're implying. Plus, my dad trusts him with me. You know, the upstanding Hale reputation and all." Tara shrugs. "I guess he figures I'll never have to worry about David drinking and driving. "Unlike you," Tara teased, and Jax had to laugh. "I do some of my best driving while under the influence, babe. But for you, I would stay painfully sober."

"Well, don't I feel special," Tara laughed.

Jax hoped his relief about David wasn't noticeable. Even though his nerves were calming, his heart had decided to join the fray and had started beating at a ridiculous pace. Even still, Jax managed to grin and shrug. "Just wanted to know what I was working with, babe."

Tara's smile turned mischievous. "If you're so concerned, shouldn't you be trying to impress me with your manly ways," Tara said while pointing dramatically towards the dart game. Jax's grin matched Tara's after he watched Opie's dart pop a balloon on a bulls eye. "Sure you can handle my prowess, babe?" Tara rolled her eyes as they walked towards Opie and Donna.

Donna and Tara chose matching teddy bears for prizes after Opie and Jax trounced the game. After eating their corn dogs and funnel cake, the group snuck into the woods edging the carnival. "Mikey came through," Donna broadcast triumphantly while retrieving a silver flask from her hobo bag. Tara laughed as she pulled her own flask from her bag. Tara and Donna shared their liquor with their partners and Jax couldn't help being impressed that Tara knew how to handle a shot. Jax pulled a blunt from his wallet, lit it and took a hit before passing it around their group.

It seemed like no time at all to Jax before Tara was asking a carnival worker for the time.

Jax walked Tara as slowly as possible to Hale's car while Donna and Opie waited by the Harleys. Tara cuddled her teddy bear between her arms as they walked. Jax smirked. He knew David would bust a vein at seeing the toy after he'd accused him of boring Tara with the same games. David was already sitting in the driver's seat when they reached the trunk of his car.

"Well, I guess your taxi is here," Jax stated just loud enough for Hale to hear. Tara took a quick swipe at his arm while mouthing, "be nice." Tara couldn't think of a scenario that would cause her to regret hanging with Jax, but she did feel a twinge of guilt at leaving her friend.

"Well, it was real, Teller." Tara was trying hard to appear nonchalant, but knew if she lingered with Jax her face would give her away.

"Definitely." Jax found himself looking into her eyes, watching her for any signals to suggest more than a friendship connection.

Tara braced herself before brushing her lips on the corner edge of his mouth. The touch was as quick as a hummingbird's, but produced a sensation that Jax knew had to replicate a lightning strike. Jax's mind battled with his body, desperately trying to file away the kiss's feeling without having his cock reflect his feelings on the subject. One look at the color flowing on Tara's cheekbones proved to him he wasn't the only one who felt the intensity of that near kiss.

"For the teddy bear." Tara could barely breathe. She thought she would be a little sassy with their good-bye, let him know just how much she enjoyed the time with him. She figured she would probably feel a little giddy at her boldness, maybe even goose pimply at the experience of being so near Jax and his beauty. What she hadn't counted on was the near touch of his lips causing such a severe trembling inside her mound. Tara tried to step away quickly to prevent her reaction from being seen, but she felt like she was traveling at turtle speed.

David's loud throat clearing startled them both.

"Thanks for the memories, Teller." Tara threw a brilliant smile his way before hurrying towards the passenger's seat of Hale's car. Jax had to cross his arms in front of his chest to prevent his arms from punching into the car.

Jax's smile was smug. He knew Hale had to be watching them from his rearview mirror.

"Anytime, darlin'."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thank you elbeewoods.**

**Special thanks to all of my readers and reviewers!**

Tara walked the quiet streets of Charming with her mind in a daze. She had insisted she didn't need David to walk her to her front door, so David waited in his car until she placed her key in the lock. Tara walked into the house and closed the door as quietly as possible, refusing to turn her face or body towards the living room. After a silent count to twenty, Tara reopened the door just as quietly and escaped back into the night air.

Tara wasn't in the mood to face her life yet. She knew that as soon as she stepped into the house she would be faced with reality: her father passed out on the couch, a row of empty bottles strewn on the coffee table. Tara didn't want to leave the high of her earlier experience tonight, and she would do anything possible to keep it afloat in her mind. The carnival had been surreal; she kept wanting to pinch her arm to make sure she was awake. Tara had spent the entire evening with Jax Teller and his friends and it had been fun. She knew Donna would be cool and Donna's boyfriend was a big but mostly mild-mannered guy. Jax had been a perfect date, if you could it that: flirty, attentive, daring and fun.

Tara couldn't believe she was flaking out over Jax Teller, especially since she'd known him since kindergarten, if not before then. Like all the kids in Charming, they'd attended the same schools, and had even shared classes until junior high when her honor courses separated her from most of her class. Jax had always been friendly enough towards her when they were kids, always a nod in her direction, but the thing she appreciated most was that the nod didn't stop after her mother died. He'd treated her the same as always, no curiosity in his eyes, no long stares in her direction. All her friends asked really nosy questions that Tara knew had to be instigated by their moms. It got so tiresome that Tara stopped sitting with her friends in class – she just needed a break from the pity and the constant reminders of her dead mom.

No one scrambled to sit next to her in middle school except David Hale, but Tara didn't mind that at all. She was still liked by everyone – she had a quick wit and could blend in with any group – but Tara was comfortable with her loner status and acquaintance-type relationships. Besides, she was never really alone – she always had the shadows of her dead mother and drunk father to keep her company. No one in this town would ever allow her to forget. Tara had to admit, begrudgingly, that her father made it easy – skipping work to get drunk, spending evenings at the police station sobering up, kept the ball rolling.

Tara's fairy godmother came in the form of her father's cousin from San Diego. Pat came to visit her first cousin and his daughter after Tara's mother's passing. It didn't take long for Pat to create a picture of how the family was doing – trashcans filled with liquor and beer bottles, pantries filled with Hamburger Helper and frozen pizza.

So when Pat suggested that Tara join her in San Diego during her summer breaks, both Gerald and Tara jumped at the chance. Gerald would have a summer without the chore of having a daughter, and Tara could actually get a break from her dad.

Pat would faithfully retrieve Tara each June and keep her until the end of August. When Tara was younger, she would cry throughout the car ride home, not wanting to return to the skeleton of the happy home she had when her mother was alive. But as the years progressed, Tara stopped focusing on the grief of her return and concentrated on ways to get out of Charming for good. And college with a scholarship seemed the most viable option. With each summer she spent away, the more claustrophobic Tara felt at her return. Charming had no beaches, no museums, no higher education and no malls. In San Diego people tried to make something of themselves; in Charming most of the residents set the bar low and were content in their blue collar lives for the most part. Any type of worldly excitement had to be imported in and that was a rarity.

The only other downside to being away was reacquainting herself to Charming life each school year. The school population would spend their summer hanging out and strengthening their friendships, and she would be out of the loop during each return. But Charming was a small place, and it didn't take long to figure out who was dating who, who had joined what clique, what the latest town gossip was.

She knew the entire high school would be hanging out at Fun Town, so the chances of seeing Jax were pretty high. Part of her was screaming at herself for even considering being in Jax Teller's league, but the other half was engulfed in the feelings he raised from those three separate encounters. When they slammed into each other several days ago, she was so embarrassed she lashed out at him, trying to hide her immediate reaction to him, a crazy blend of attraction and aversion. Attraction to his gorgeousness – the wild blonde tresses, the startling blue eyes, the beautiful smile. Aversion for his reputation with the girls in school. According to what Tara constantly heard, Jax was nothing short of a pimp. Before bumping into him, she couldn't understand how most of the girls in school could drop their panties for someone who only wanted a fast fuck. She also knew she wouldn't have to worry about being placed in that situation. Tara wasn't blonde, her tits weren't bigger than her head, and her vocabulary was larger than a toddler's. And since they were never in the same classes, she didn't need to give him a second thought. But that was before she had him in direct view of her, looking unconcerned and beautiful as he helped her pick up her books. She got mad at herself for "getting it," for understanding how a girl could get caught up in his charm. So she did the only thing she could – she bitched him out and practically ran to class.

Then she'd been forced to accept his help when he'd caught her smoking in the boy's bathroom. It had been the perfect spot: none of boys ever used the stalls or lingered in order to gossip. Tara had been doing it since September without any problems. Why in the hell did he, of all people, have to catch her? Her lack of cool points had to be piling up in his eyes; her reputation as a nerd and the town's drunk's daughter only added to it. She was used to that profile, it had stopped hurting her long ago, but she blushed at the thought of Jax being reminded of her failings.

But Jax had stirred something inside her. Being around him was like finding the North star – he drew her in his direction, and his presence provided her with a lightness she'd never experienced. Tara snorted in disgust. What was she doing, writing a love song? But as corny as it sounded, that's how she felt. Goddamn it, Tara thought, she must have drank more than she thought if she got giddy thinking about the walking dick known as Jax Teller.

But who else had made her feel that way? She had to admit that besides a couple of diner dates, the closest thing she had for comparison was David Hale. Not that she would ever consider him for a boyfriend. He was nice to her, gave her rides home and invited her to football games. But even his kindness had a limit, Tara thought wryly. He made a point of not inviting her to his house when his parents were present. They probably thought David's friendship with her would taint their prestigious name, and he hadn't bothered to disagree with them.

But if she really planned to leave Charming, it wouldn't behoove her to take any real interest in either Jax or David. They were townies and always would be townies. Tara wanted something more from her life – she wanted to travel, she wanted to visit museums, she wanted to be part of the world. There was no one Tara knew who had the same mindset she did: move from Charming, go to college, and never come back. There were some who were going to college as well, but they all seemed intent on coming back to Charming and helping the town become stronger.

Tara was mulling these thoughts over as she window shopped in Charming's business district. She was so deep in thought she didn't hear the roaring motors until it was too late to duck inside an alley.

"Tara, what are you doing here?" Donna asked in complete shock as the bikers allowed their Harleys to roll to a complete stop. She and the guys had decided to take advantage of the weather and drive around town after the carnival.

Tara tried to hide her embarrassment with a shrug. "Just going for a walk."

"Where's Hale?" Jax demanded, scanning the streets for his car.

"He's not here." Tara was beginning to think her stroll was a bad idea.

"Did that little fuck leave you alone this time of night?" Tara could see the fury in his face. She had seen him like that once before in the quad at lunch; he'd been involved in a fight. She had tried to ignore the commotion, but ended up circling the combatants like everyone else. She couldn't take her eyes off Jax as he beat a football player to a pulp. It had taken two teachers to pull him off the boy. His posture now had her mesmerized and a little anxious. She was amazed that he was that concerned about her safety, and a little afraid for how this would play out with David.

"He doesn't know I left my house." Tara suddenly became fascinated with the concrete underneath her feet. "I just needed to get a breather, you know?" She lifted her head and looked at Jax, just a touch of sadness enveloping her face. "Just a break from life," Tara confirmed, shrugging her shoulders like what she said was as normal as saying, "Good morning." She then looked at each one of them, her expression daring them to say something even remotely placating.

Everyone contemplated her words in silence. Jax understood the need to escape from home, God knows he would go crazy if he didn't have his bike and no curfew to soothe his urges. The question was why would Tara feel the same way?

"Come with us." Jax knew he should've gotten the go ahead from Opie and Donna, but right now he didn't give a shit about their opinion and felt an overwhelming desire to hold Tara and keep her safe.

Tara stood still has she read Jax's eyes, their blue hue dazzling despite the darkness. She didn't feel awkward at his request or the prospect of being on the back of a motorcycle with a sixteen-year-old. It felt like the most natural thing in the world to be with him right now, to take refuge in him while she escaped temporarily from her world. Somehow Jax made her feel safe and understood, and she felt even more strongly that she was somehow doing the same for him.

Tara slowly walked towards Jax until she was standing directly beside his motorcycle. Jax handed his helmet to Tara and watched patiently as she secured the chinstrap. He then whispered instructions in her ear until she was able to climb onto his bike. Jax showed Tara where to rest her feet before igniting his engine again. Once Tara felt the vibrations of the motor underneath her, she wrapped her arms around his waist and felt like she was discovering home.


	6. Chapter 6

**You're the best, elbeewoods.**

**I own nothing.**

They arrived at Opie's house, a small, weather-beaten rambler that had seen better days. It was obvious that only men lived there – there was nothing in any of the rooms that would suggest a woman's touch: flowers, knick knacks, matching color schemes. Both Opie and his dad, Piney, believed that a television and refrigerator were the most important pieces of furniture in a house; everything else was an option. A television to watch sports and a refrigerator for cold beer. This explained the old, worn, hand-me-down look of the rest of the furniture.

The house was deserted as Opie had predicted; he knew his dad would be at a MC party at the clubhouse. Tara and Donna swaddled themselves in Opie's bedroom comforter before sitting on the floor and playing a board game. The guys lay on their sides chatting lazily, occasionally jiggling the game board and disrupting the girls. Opie found beer in the fridge. The camaraderie among them tonight felt like it had been developed from years of friendship instead of a couple hours worth of hanging out. Jax couldn't help but sneak peeks at Tara the entire time. It felt so right to have her as part of their group.

"So, where have you been my whole life?" Jax had meant for the line to sound enticing, but it came out as a cheap old pick-up line. Opie gave him a weird look, and Tara further confirmed his suspicions by looking at him with slanted eyes. Jax was embarrassed at his weak line and irritated by Tara's reaction – any other girl would've eaten those words up no matter how stupid-sounding, been more than happy to play along.

Still, Tara couldn't help but be amused by Jax's question. "Here in Charming along with everyone else."

"Don't see you around much," Jax persisted.

"You been looking, Teller?" For a moment Jax thought his cover was blown, that Tara had figured out that he was fascinated by her. But Tara continued, "It's probably because I hang out in places you barely know exist. Like the library, Charming Gardens,…"

"And pep rallies, football games..." Jax couldn't keep the contempt out of his voice. The thought of Tara cheering for that punk ass David Hale made him sick to his stomach.

Tara laughed out loud. "You really don't know me that well, do you?"

"Well, as a matter-of-fact, Jax didn't even recognize you _at all _a few days ago," Donna chipped in, her voice a little wobbly from her weed and alcohol buzz.

"Oh, really?" Tara asked. Jax shot Donna a warning look which she promptly ignored.

"Oh, yeah," Donna continued. "Jax was hell bent on tracking you down. He likes a challenge. Jax's not used to girls who aren't begging him for a screw." Jax knew Donna was drunk and meant it as a joke but the comment held a ring of truth and Jax couldn't help but be pissed off at both himself and Donna. Opie shot Jax an apologetic look.

"I see," was Tara's beginning comment. Jax thought he saw Tara's face crumble for a slight second before taking on a detached look. Jax knew Tara was interpreting Donna's statement in a right but wrong way but didn't know how to mitigate the damage.

"So, in other words, your ego couldn't stand the thought of a girl who wasn't aware of your presence, or who wasn't tripping up over herself to get your attention. Got it."

Jax's eyes showed his anxiety but he willed his voice to be steady. "It's not like that."

"No worries," Tara's voice took on an indifferent tone. "Well, you got half your wish. Being a part of the SAMCRO world literally ensures that we ALL know about your presence. But I won't be tripping over you anytime soon." Tara turned her complete attention towards Opie. "You have any cards for poker?"

The next hour consisted of laughs over accusations of people cheating at poker and eating the M&Ms being used for money. Opie made sure no one ran low on beer while Donna and Tara gossiped and laughed about people at school. Every once in a while Jax would aim a comment at Tara. She would always acknowledge him, but not in the easy, mellow way she did at Fun Town, or when speaking to Donna and Opie now. In fact, Tara barely looked his way for the rest of the evening. It appeared little Miss Tara actually did save her venom for him, Jax thought testily.

The foursome decided to call it quits when the t.v. stations began showing infomercials. Donna and Opie were having a heated conversation about how to sneak Donna into her house when they shouted their "laters" and headed towards Opie's bike. Jax noticed Tara's trek to his bike was less hurried but determined nonetheless. He could only guess it was because she wanted to get away from him as fast as possible. Jax was torn. Part of him wanted to defend himself and tell Tara his interest in her had nothing to do with playing games or getting a quick lay. But the other part of him felt contempt for allowing Tara to make him feel like he owed her an explanation. Who the hell did she think she was?

"You know, your face is going to freeze like that," Jax commented as he met Tara at his Dyna. Tara looked up from the helmet she was about to place on her head. The confusion on her face was palpable.

"You know, the frown you're carrying. My mom always said your face would freeze like that if you did it too often." He had meant for it to be funny, but it ended up sounding as retarded as his earlier "whole life" line. Jax was beside himself; he had never had any problems with conversing with the opposite sex. Jax was a master of female psychology. Girls didn't intimidate him; it was just a matter of understanding what they needed in order to make them feel special. The problem was that Tara Knowles didn't need or want anyone to make her feel that way. Even worse, Tara always seemed to know exactly what made _him_ tick, which was throwing him off his game.

"I'll keep that in mind. " Tara's eyes moved from Jax's face to his bike. "Now, if you don't mind, it's been a long night. You kept me up way past my bedtime," Tara replied with a small, tense smile.

Their bike ride home was silent. Jax noticed Tara didn't hold his waist as firmly as she had when he picked her up and kept her posture as straight as possible.

* * *

It had taken forever for Jax to unwind before falling asleep. The bike ride to Tara's house was too quick even as tortuous as it was. Tara made every effort to touch Jax as little as possible throughout the ride, and other than a quick, "Thanks for tonight," made no mention of seeing him at school or anywhere else again. Tara hadn't even bothered to look back in Jax's direction when she reached her front door and let herself in. The door locking and the nightlight being turned off was the dismissal she preferred to give him instead. Jax decided right then that he'd had enough of Tara, the haughty, can't-take-a-joke Miss Knowles, and he definitely wasn't seeking to expand their acquaintanceship. Fun Town had been unbelievable, but her true side had come out at Opie's and he didn't care to use his energy to convince her he was a nice guy. Hell, he shouldn't even need to.

But the little conversation he had with himself last night didn't prevent him from jumping out of bed early and going through his typical morning routine. Jax pulled on last night's jeans that had been discarded on the floor a few hours ago, deciding it would be faster to dress in those than looking through his closet for a new pair.

He'd barely pulled a new t-shirt over his head before walking out the front door and towards his motorcycle. Jax decided if this didn't work, then he would truly be over it. He was going to drive to Charming Gardens to see if Tara was there. His mother had mentioned stopping by the community plots on Sunday before they closed due to the chillier weather. Most of the gardeners would be there to plant some seeds or till some soil or whatever the fuck they did before it became too cool for some of the plants to survive. If Tara really did hang out at the Gardens, she surely wouldn't miss out today.

Jax parked his bike near the entrance and scanned the lot, momentarily forgetting Tara didn't drive. Walking wouldn't be a problem, though; Tara's house was less than fifteen minutes away by foot.

Jax's careful steps through the individual plots didn't go unnoticed by the middle-aged women who were elbows-deep in potting soil. It didn't take long for him to recognize his mom's teased hair-do rising above a loose, black Reaper t-shirt. Jax figured the sooner he acknowledged his mother, the quicker he could turn his attention to finding Tara.

"Hi, mom," Jax tried to keep his voice light as he sauntered over to her gardening section. Gemma was on her knees like most of the women here – knee pads, rubber gloves, a few sun visors. Gemma's voice was both pleased and surprised. "It's Sunday; shouldn't you be sleeping off your Fun Town hangover? What brings you here?"

Jax gave his mother his innocent look. "What? I can't just stop by to say hello to my mother?" Jax couldn't help the darting glances he used to target other sections of the Gardens; it was bigger than he realized. He couldn't understand how so many people thought something as boring as gardening was fun.

"Hey, earth to Jax." Gemma raised her voice while playfully throwing some soil on Jax's white Adidas. "I said what brings you here? You developing a taste for MILFs now?"

Jax was too preoccupied to be annoyed. If he couldn't find Tara here alone, it would be near impossible to convince her to talk to him at school, sharing classes with her or not.

Gemma turned her head in the direction where Jax's eyes gaze lingered. A young girl in a Nirvana t-shirt and worn jeans was working busily trying to aerate her plot. Gemma rolled her eyes. "Really, Jax?"

Jax looked down at his mother in irritation. "It's not like that, mom."

"Really? So, what's it like? Can't I have one thing that doesn't have the MC fingerprints all over it?" Gemma scolding continued as she took another look. "And Tara Knowles? Don't you have enough family baggage of your own?"

"Stay out of it, mom. It's covered," Jax shot out as he began approaching Tara's section. The closer he came to her plot, however, the more he realized he hadn't a clue as to what he would say. _Fuck it_, Jax thought to himself. Tara already thought he was an ass; it couldn't get any worse than that.

Tara's surprised expression would have been comical if Jax's nerves weren't so shot at the moment. Jax felt a wave of butterflies invade his stomach while his heart beat as though he'd just come in from a jog.

"Hi." It was the only thing Jax could say that wouldn't make him look like any more idiotic than he already did. Jax buried his hands in his jeans pockets to prevent them from shaking.

"Hi yourself," Tara returned mildly. "This your idea of a good time on a Sunday morning? You seem more like the sleep-in type." Tara tried to make it very obvious by her posture that Jax wasn't welcome in her garden area. And judging from the looks Jax's mother was throwing his way, she seemed to be in agreement. Tara's feelings had been hurt badly after Donna told her Jax considered her to be some new booty he wanted to take a shot at. From that point on, Tara was cordial to Jax for the rest of the evening, but that was it. Tara didn't want any future interaction with Jax Teller at all. Tara loved being with Donna, and Opie seemed really cool, but she refused to become a Teller twat, always waiting and hoping for his attention and maybe, just maybe, receiving it one day while on your back in his bedroom. Tara didn't even bother to wave at him when he dropped her off after Opie's get-together. Why bother? She was sure they wouldn't see each other again during the rest of the school year.

Jax had no idea what he was doing. He wasn't even sure what he wanted. All the evidence for him being a dick was lined up against him. Knocking her books down. Cajoling her when he caught her in the bathroom. Mistaking his intentions after listening to Donna's confession.

"Look, you got the wrong idea about me. I wasn't trying to play you. Honest."

Tara rolled her eyes and gave him a look cold enough to produce chills. "Is your ego really so fragile you can't stand the thought of a girl not pining for you?

Jax was exasperated. He had never been in a situation with a girl who wasn't afraid to challenge him. Most of the women in his world were needy for male attention, and didn't ask too many questions if the one plus ones didn't add up. All it took was for him to give the girls a little reassurance in the looks department, or a well-crafted line that would lead to a smile. And who was he to argue if that led to a little behind-the-bleachers fun more often than not? As far as he was concerned, it was a win-win situation. But Jax knew Tara would never fall for that crap; she was the exact opposite of those girls. She thought too much of herself to be used and didn't hesitate to cut through the bullshit to figure out the real from the zirconia.

"What do you want from me here, Tara? I'm trying my best here."

Tara lifted an eyebrow. "I could ask you the same thing." Jax knew if he gave the truth to that answer he would be walking down territory he wasn't sure he could handle yet.

But Jax knew that honesty was the only way he had any chance with Tara at all. Gemma was the only woman he knew before Tara who wouldn't tolerate bullshit. The thought of a relationship with a girl absent of any pretenses or phoniness scared him, but not enough to stop being truthful.

"Tara, I'm really, really sorry. What you heard last night, it gave you the wrong impression. But what I did, and I swear to God what Donna said, it wasn't my main goal."

"Oh give me a break, Teller. Do you really think you can stand here and tell me you weren't interested in throwing some newbie a line and seeing if she would take a bite? Or maybe get the upperhand over some random girl who actually had the balls to tell you about yourself?"

Tara was having a war inside her head. On an intellectual level, she knew she shouldn't trust Jax, should use his reputation as the deciding factor and cut any further interaction with him. The last thing she needed was to be humiliated at the hands of the bad boy of Charming. But something deep inside her being made her believe that Jax would never hurt her. And not only that: she believed he had the capability of actually _understanding_ her and _accepting_ her as she was. And as Jax looked down at Tara, she saw the genuine anguish in his bright blue eyes and couldn't help but relent even though the white angel on her shoulder was shouting at her to stop.

Jax drew in a deep breath. She had nailed his typical behavior so perfectly he had to release it with a chuckle. "Yeah, any other time, that would have been my move."

Jax's tone became serious again. "But you caught my attention because you were beautiful and real, and I had never felt something like that from a girl before."

"And that's changed?" Tara's green eyes cut at Jax in warning and amusement. "And think very carefully before you answer the question."

Jax lowered his body in front of Tara's until he assumed a crouching position, all the while making sure his eyes were level with Tara's. Tara could read only sincerity in his gaze. "No, you're still beautiful and real, babe," Jax spoke softly. "But now I can add smart and funny to the list."

Tara tried to appear unfazed at the comment but her darkening blush was giving her away. "You kiss your mother with that silver tongue of yours?"

"Yeah," Jax turned his head to glance briefly at his mother, "but I'd rather kiss you." Jax knew he had been forgiven when Tara delivered a small smile in response.

"Dare to dream, Teller. Dare to dream."

Jax walked towards a bench perched directly in front of Tara's plot and sat down, relieved, like a huge weight had been lifted. The cool wind was refreshing as he watched Tara carefully submerge a bulb into the moist potting soil. Several minutes passed. "Well, I guess I should be happy you didn't recognize me right away," Tara explained wryly. "It means my reputation doesn't always precede me."

Jax was lost. "What are you talking about?"

"You know, a dead mommy at nine and a drunk daddy at ten. Charming residents usually don't forget things like that."

Jax nodded slowly, understanding. "Yeah, I guess they don't."

Tara paused her digging for a moment. "But thanks for being so nice to me back then." Tara's smile was bright, and Jax's heart beat faster at the thought it was just for him. "The ice cream and all."

Jax snapped his attention back. "Ice cream?"

"Wow, I am truly forgettable in your eyes, " Tara teased playfully. _If only she knew, _Jax grimaced inwardly. "You would buy me push-up pops from the Good Humor truck at the park." Tara gave a quick, sad smile. "I figure I must have looked pretty pathetic sitting on the benches by myself."

And that's when most of the pieces came together. The pretty little girl with the chocolate brown ponytail whose mother had just died. Who would sit on the bench and watch the other kids play on the swings and jungle gym. Jax had taken his mother's orders "to be nice" seriously and brought Tara popsicles from the ice cream man whenever he had extra money. He hadn't had any experience with death yet but figured it had to be a rough go without a mother in the house. Even a mother like Opie's was better than nothing.

The gap was closing. - early elementary school, Tara's mom's death, the ice cream, and then a brick wall. Tara spoke again after a couple of minutes. "I'm usually not here during the summer," Tara spoke matter-of-factly. "That's part of the reason I didn't register in your mind. I visit my cousin in San Diego each year. That's why you don't see me hanging out at the bonfires or going to the dollar movie. It'd be easy to not recognize someone if they were away for three months each year."

Tara grinned deviously. "And then, there's the issue of classes at school." Tara turned towards Jax, her green eyes turning playful. "I bet hell would freeze over before you were caught in one of the geek classes."

It was Jax's turn to smirk. "You might be surprised about that, babe," Jax chuckled softly. Silence fell between them as Tara continued to work, but it felt warm and natural. Comforting, even.

Jax and Tara stayed at the Gardens for almost an hour, alternating between light chatting and quiet moments. Jax didn't know what to make of his budding friendship with Tara; it was the first time he had invested so much time in a girl who gave no inkling of wanting to go any farther than talking. Jax knew his mother was shooting the two of them pissy looks but he ignored them. Gemma would have plenty of time to interrogate his ass during dinner. Jax closed his eyes and allowed the presence of Tara to wash over him until then. For the first time in months he felt at peace.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thank you, elbeewoods.**

**Thank you to all my followers!**

"Is there a reason you're here, gentlemen?" The annoyance on Mr. Barnes face was evident.

Jax waved the transfer slip in the air before handing the crumpled paper to his new teacher. "Why wouldn't we be here? This is our class." Jax shot a shit-eating grin in Mr. Barnes direction while the teacher checked, then rechecked the guidance counselor's signature on the note. He could only imagine what the looks on his new classmates' faces were like.

"Well, everything seems to be in order." Mr. Barnes finally sighed, and Jax almost felt sorry for the guy. But Mr. Barnes quickly changed his posture from defeat to resoluteness as he flourished an arm impatiently. "Have a seat gentlemen, it's your first day of class and you're already tardy."

Opie rolled his eyes as he surveyed the new environment. The only thing preventing him from walking back out was Donna's delighted squeal. He hadn't told Donna about the transfer in the hopes that Jax would change his mind. Opie glanced at the people surrounding Donna's chair and gave a groan. Jax had punked him, and for a girl, no less. Tara was sitting directly beside Donna, and the look of shock on her face would've been priceless if he wasn't so pissed. Obviously, Jax hadn't informed Tara of this little stunt, either.

Opie couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that Jax Teller was jumping through hoops for some girl, practically panting behind her like a trained pet. He'd first noticed when Jax approached Tara while they were at Fun Town. Opie figured Jax wanted to smooth things over after that hallway clash – get into Tara's good graces and work his way into her panties eventually. And Tara would be the perfect challenge for him: Jax had yet to meet a woman who didn't melt like putty into his hands, so Tara's outburst had certainly grabbed Jax's attention. But things had turned weird after they'd run into Tara on Main Street later that night. Jax had been strangely protective of Tara, had insisted she join them at Opie's house, something he'd never done with any other girl. Jax was always careful about who he allowed into his innermost circle, and he and Donna had been it for as long as Opie could remember. The closest Jax had ever allowed a girl into his life was by inviting her into the clubhouse, and that was only because of the numerous beds available. Then when Tara figured out Jax's angle towards her, instead of using that famous Teller charm to appease her, he had become completely tongue-tied and lost any credibility from that point on. Opie wasn't used to seeing a girl outsmart his best friend. Even more, Opie wasn't used to seeing Jax losing control because of a female. He wasn't sure how he felt about it. Opie had met Donna a couple of years ago and loved his old lady too much to step out on her. But that didn't stop Opie from living vicariously through Jax's sexual exploits. And this thing he was developing with Tara certainly wasn't forming into that kind of party.

Opie couldn't figure it out. Hell, he wasn't sure Jax could, either. Sure she was really pretty, but not a walking Playboy advertisement like the girls he usually slept with. But he had to acknowledge from the weekend that Tara seemed pretty cool, definitely not the pretentious teacher's pet he'd assumed she would be. She drank and smoke without being a stoner, studied but didn't give a shit about other people's g.p.a.'s. He'd also heard she didn't hesitate to clock a bitch for disrespecting her father. She was just like him, Jax, and Donna: take it or leave it, no phoniness or ass kissing involved. Besides, she and Donna acted like best friends that weekend. He knew his girlfriend got lonely sometimes – her goody-two shoe friends had dumped her as soon as she'd started dating a future MC. Maybe they had found their fourth wheel despite Jax's goal to fuck every girl past the ninth grade.

Jax scanned the rows of seats looking for Tara's desk. He felt an immediate rush of his heartbeat when he found her chair. Jax couldn't believe how deeply he cared about this girl. He'd only known her for a few weeks but the feelings he had were those that were usually nurtured over a period of years. When Tara had allowed Jax to start anew with their friendship at Charming Gardens he felt a happiness he hadn't experienced since his dad died. From that point on Jax had spent every spare minute talking on the phone with her. It didn't matter the subject, or if there was _even_ a subject; he just wanted to hear her voice. Sometimes there'd just be silence on each end of their earpieces, but those periods were just as wonderful as their conversations. Sometimes there were no words needed between them. - they just seemed to get each other. Jax had been careful not to take it any further than phone calls, though. He wanted to prove to Tara that his past actions towards her hadn't been lewd. So, hard as it was, Jax limited himself to phone calls and no impromptu visits to her house.

Jax adopted his normal swagger as he walked towards Tara's desk. "Surprised?" Jax asked, taking the time to relish the excitement in Tara's eyes.

"Extremely." David Hale's hiss broke through Jax's almost reverential stare at Tara, and he turned his head towards David in irritation. It angered Jax beyond reason whenever he saw David escorting Tara to his car after the dismissal bell, and it figured he would be planted right beside Tara in class. The dick probably sat next to her in all their classes, Jax thought in disgust. "Who'd you have to threaten to get to the second floor? I didn't realize you took your education so seriously." David knew a high school diploma wasn't even a consideration for Jax; SAMCRO was Jax's life, his destiny, practically part of his DNA.

The entire classroom paused their whispering at that comment. Sure, there were speculations about Jax and Opie's enrollment, but only an idiot looking for a death wish would give voice to an opinion like that.

Jax had five seconds to weigh his options before Mr. Barnes gave him and Opie detention for disrupting the class whether they deserved it or not. That would only leave them susceptible to more detentions until they finally got expelled from the class. Jax had made peace with the fact he only enrolled in the class to see Tara everyday. And as much as he wanted to take Hale by the throat and punch him senseless, he had to think of another way to handle David.

"Mr. Barnes, the counselor said Ope and I needed study partners to make up the work we missed. She said Tara would be a good fit for me." The smile Jax gave David was nothing short of wicked.

"Fine, fine." Mr. Barnes tapped his fingers impatiently. "Mr. Hale, please find another seat so Mr. Teller can be close to his partner." Hale was furious, but Jax knew the little prick would sooner suck a dick than have his halo tarnished by spouting back to the teacher.

Seeing Hale crawl to a seat in the back was worth the trap he'd set for himself. Now he'd have to half-ass his way through a month's worth of assignments maybe. Opie had had an easier time of maneuvering next to Donna's seat. The boy sitting at her right had left his seat before Opie even approached her chair. Everyone knew he and Donna were a couple, and the boy figured a new seat was better than the threat of Opie's discontent.

"Comfy now, gentlemen?" Can we actually move along, please?" Mr. Barnes rolled his eyes again. He knew his prospects for a continued organized, harmonious class had been ruined within the last five minutes. He would need to have a serious discussion with Mrs. Larsen about her placement of Mr. Teller and Mr. Winston into his class.

"Carry on, Mr. Barnes," replied Jax in a slow drawl. All of a sudden school didn't seem like such a long haul this year.

* * *

Jax's transfer into Tara's English class was more than worth the initial aggravation. While it wasn't enough to prevent Jax from skipping first period, it did ensure his perfect attendance in his one A.P. class. During their first class together, Tara asked Jax repeatedly why he would switch to a brainiac class. It made Jax feel good that Tara didn't ask how he switched – there was no doubt in her mind Jax had the ability to handle the workload, unlike some of their peers. Jax simply shrugged his shoulders a couple of times and said he needed the challenge. Or, Tara noted, "new teachers to drive insane."

The hour-long class seemed to finish within minutes in spite of Mr. Barnes boring lectures. Jax always came unprepared so Tara would provide him with notebook paper and a pen each day. Tara endeavored to keep a studious posture each day, but as the days progressed, she found herself constantly keeping one eye on Mr. Barnes and the other one on Jax. Soon Jax made a habit of sliding his desk as close to Tara's as possible. Then Tara began drawing silly faces or hearts or stupid jokes on the paper Jax borrowed. They would pass notes to each other when Mr. Barnes showed movies. But Tara drew the line at disrespecting the teacher in plain view. Tara's sweetness and consideration made Jax like her even more and he hadn't thought that was possible.

* * *

The school cafeteria was sun-filled and raucous as Jax surveyed the scattered lunch tables. Kids formed steady lines in front of cafeteria workers handing out trays filled with pizza, nuggets, and fries. Other students counted change as they took turns buying candy from the vending machines.

Lunch was the last part of the school day that Jax could manipulate to his advantage. Most of the kids at school ate with the same crowd each day. Jax knew that Tara would be reluctant to just up and jump ship to his lunch table because she currently shared one with David Hale and his friends. Jax's nerves were more at ease when it came to David's and Tara's relationship: he'd studied them in class and Tara seemed blind to the fact that David would prefer something more than friendship. Jax couldn't help but smirk in David's direction whenever Tara passed him a note – David may have Mr. Knowles seal-of-approval, but his daughter had her own ideas on the subject.

Jax spotted Tara as she walked from the cashier line towards the athlete's table in the center of the room. Jax turned in her direction and walked until his pace matched hers. "How about sitting in the sunshine with me today?" Jax nodded his head towards the window wall so she could see where Opie and Donna were settling. Tara gave Jax a wide grin. Tara had quickly learned that the more time she spent with Jax, whether on the phone or in class, the more she wanted to be with him. Tara thought she was going to fall out of her chair when he showed up in her A.P. class, and was dumbfounded when Jax reported Mrs. Larsen had requested her to be his tutor. But being phone buddies and deskmates paled in comparison to sharing a lunch table with someone. Lunch groups in Tara's mind were visual, irrefutable proof of your friendships and interests. And once you chose your "tribe," you stayed loyal until you walked across a stage with a diploma in your hand. What would sitting at Jax's table say about her? SAMCRO lover? Old lady wannabe? Future criminal? Tara wanted to shiver at the negative implications, but she couldn't. All she could think was Jax asking to sit with her at lunch was like asking her to cut her hand so they could take a blood oath. Tara was amazed at the effect this idea was having on her sanity. Tara knew she was maybe blowing the whole lunch thing way out of proportion but she reveled at the chance to spend more time with Jax. Even more thrilling was the notion that he felt the same way. Something about their chemistry was producing an attraction that was becoming too difficult to fight.

The tiniest wave of guilt hit Tara as she realized it would mean leaving David's table. David was a good friend and Tara had sat with him at lunch for years. She hoped David would understand and not act like some overprotective big brother. She knew Jax and David didn't get along, and that only amped her wariness. Still, it didn't give David the right to try to choose her friends outside his clique.

"Okay, but I need to tell David first," said Tara, unable to quiet a tiny bit of anxiety in her voice. She really didn't want to hurt David's feelings.

"I'll join you." Jax took Tara's tray as they walked towards the athlete's table. Hale looked up in surprise when he realized both Tara and Jax were standing in front of his section.

Tara fumbled her words. "David, I'm going to pass today and catch up with Donna…"

"Why don't you just ask Donna to join us?" David looked at Jax with absolute scorn.

"Well, she usually sits with her boyfriend…" Tara rambled while turning in Donna's direction. Jax jerked his body in Donna's direction as well, knowing full well that the move would spill Tara's soda. Jax tried to hide his grin at the desired outcome – Diet Coke and chunks of ice spilled off the lunch tray and were pooling on top of David's table seats and counters.

"Good thing Tara's got optional seating today," Jax drawled while David looked furiously at the mess. "Come on," Jax gently pushed Tara's away from the table as she looked at the mess in confusion. "We can tell a cafeteria worker on the way to our table."

* * *

"Want a piece of my dessert?" Tara wiggled an extra large chocolate square in front of her audience.

"Definitely," Donna affirmed as she broke off a chunk of Tara's brownie.

"You as generous with your sugar at the Pop Warner table?" Jax smirked towards the jock table.

"They wouldn't appreciate its . . . nutritional value." It took a moment for Tara's meaning to sink in, but as soon as it did, Opie and jax broke off large chunks of Tara's treat as well.

"It's good, but why go through all the cooking if you can just inhale it?" Opie asked between mouthfuls.

"Because it's illegal to smoke in school," Tara commented, which produced a loud guffaw from Jax. Tara raised her eyebrow in warning. "Besides, I happen to be an excellent baker."

"Works for me," Donna sighed contently as she took in her last crumb. Tara looked across the table and actually giggled. She didn't know which made her feel warmer, the sun's rays or Jax's smile.

Donna looked at Tara with a smiling face as well. "You know, you eating with us just raised your popularity exponentially. Whether that's a positive or a negative is entirely subjective."

Tara looked thoughtful before returning the smiles. "Good thing I'm not wedded to my yearbook standing."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Thank you, elbeewoods.**

Gym was over and Tara had sprinted to the locker room like everyone else. She was so preoccupied with not being late for lunch she didn't notice a wave of movement in her direction. It was only when a hard shove drove her head-first into the steel door that she realized Tricia Moore was standing behind her.

"Who do you think you are, bitch? Do you really think Jax Teller wants you? He's just doing a little charity work right now," Tricia sneered while her friend Wendy stood by and nodded.

Tara was shaken by Tricia's statement; that comment hurt more than the assault. Tricia's words added volume to the tiny voice in her mind that questioned why Jax was with her. He wasn't _with her_ with her, but for weeks the majority of their time was spent together. Some outings were spent with Donna and Opie, but more "dates" than not were spent alone at the diner, playing video games, or just riding along Charming's back roads. The conversations ran the gamut from joking to serious. It wasn't rare for them to talk about books or favorite bands or even the clouds in the sky. The silences were just as fulfilling – they only reinforced their connection somehow. Jax and Tara even trusted each other with their secrets. Jax confessed to journal writing. "My own little form of therapy," he chuckled. Tara showed Jax her cheap acoustic guitar. "It builds manual dexterity," Tara said shyly. "I want to be a doctor someday." It wasn't uncommon for Jax to write in his journal while Tara practiced her chords. The only times Jax didn't hang with Tara was when he had to work at the auto shop, usually on Saturday mornings. But even on those days Jax would pick her up afterwards and they would talk. Tara didn't like to admit it to herself, but in the weeks she'd gotten to know Jax Teller she'd fallen hard. What had started as an angry attraction was now morphing into something she was scared to try to label because she might jinx it.

Tara knew if she tried to avoid the looming fight she would become a future target for any girl trying to prove herself. Tara knew it would be best to go down swinging instead of laying down and accepting what came. Crying was not an option, either, especially with the crowd of onlookers that had formed around them.

"It's not my fault he's afraid of getting burned." Tara gave a humorless grin while she took a long, hard stare at the mound between Tricia's legs.

"What did you say?" Tricia was taken aback by Tara's response and the giggles that erupted from the circle of girls.

"Did I stutter?" Tara asked nonchalantly, knowing she had forced Tricia's hand.

Tricia's smack was so hard against Tara's face she stumbled. The burn and pain burst through her cheek so forcefully she could barely see Tricia, but that didn't stop her from lunging for Tricia's hair and jerking as hard as she could. Tricia's yelp of pain spurred Tara on to land a punch in Tricia's face but Wendy's arms pushed Tara before she could land a second. Tara's stomach clenched as she lay on the ground; Tricia and Wendy were coming and ready to attack.

Donna's pixie figure seemed to rise from thin air as she jumped on Wendy's back and choked her. The move distracted Tricia just enough; Tara used the opportunity to punch Tricia's face as hard as she could.

The gym teachers found the locker room in an uproar - SAMCRO girls giving an ass-kicking to two of the meanest girls at school. Tara was in a daze as an instructor removed her struggling form from atop Tricia's body. She looked across the room and saw Donna's tiny frame being similarly handled. As they were escorted side-by-side to the main office, Tara realized she had never experienced this level of camaraderie from another girl.

"Thank you," Tara whispered to Donna in a soft voice. Donna shrugged. "That's what friends are for."

* * *

"You should be ashamed of your behavior," Principal Stevens admonished after listening to Tara's version of events. Tara was more sorrowful than ashamed. She knew at some point her new world of friendships, of belonging, of this "lightness of being," would crash at her feet eventually. She just hadn't known what form the catalyst would take.

* * *

Tara's lifeline began veering to the left at the age of seven; her mother became ill soon after her birthday. Her mother began missing school recitals and not chaperoning school trips. She became too weak to garden or take Tara to the playground.

Gerald Knowles became a religious convert and dragged Tara to church on Sundays and enrolled her in Sunday school. He began placing Virgin Mary statues in the car and kitchen. When the prayers didn't halt her mother's deterioration Gerald began preferring the altar of Jack Daniel's over Jesus Christ.

After the burial her mother's friends promised Tara she would never be alone, but that's exactly how they left her. When her mother's death became old news the casseroles and pound cakes stopped coming and Tara learned to be reserved and wary of people's promises to stay around. Tara's dad deemed her to be "responsible," gave her a house key, and let her take care of herself after school and when her he stayed out until 2 a.m. The rules were set: Gerald kept the lights on and Tara handled everything domestic. Eventually they both began to appreciate the silence. She could immerse herself in school and books and Gerald could imbibe undisturbed. Tara's trips to San Diego were her only good childhood memories.

"You do know this could be placed on your record?" Principal Steven's voice dispersed Tara's musings of her life. She remained quiet but nodded her head.

* * *

"This has nothing to do with Opie!" Tara heard Donna's angry spurts to her mother as they walked out the front office's doors.

The school secretary informed Tara she was contacting Mr. Knowles next, but returned the phone receiver to its place upon second thought. Mrs. O'Connor's husband worked with Gerald at the mill. The bi-weekly checks had already been distributed to its employees, and it was common knowledge that Knowles never came to work the day after a paycheck – he liked to get an early start on his weekend benders. "On second thought, since it's your first offense, I'll save your father the inconvenience of picking you up." Mrs. O'Connor looked through the office windows until she spied the person she was seeking. "Wait right here, " commanded Mrs. O'Connor as she walked past the office counter and into the hallway. Tara looked out the window in confusion. When she saw Mrs. O'Connor in conversation with Delores Hale, the President of the Parent Teacher Association, she slumped in her chair.

* * *

Jax and Opie were sitting in the cafeteria when a group from Tara and Donna's gym class entered. They were chatting so enthusiastically Jax knew the gossip had to be good. Jax and Opie continued to wait at their lunch table as the school buzz traveled from table to table. What puzzled Jax and Opie was that the news seemed to involve them – their classmates would repeatedly sneak peaks at them while they talked in hushed tones. Opie approached one of Donna's gym classmates after several minutes had passed with no sign of her or Tara. Her response to his question had Opie jogging to the back wall.

"Donna and Tara were sent home for fighting." It only took a second before both men were haul tailing towards the cafeteria doors; they could practically feel their classmates' eyes on their backs as they hastened to the main entrance. Opie saw Donna and her mother approaching the school's security doors and beelined in that direction. Jax saw Mrs. O'Connor having a discussion with Mrs. Hale and used the opportunity to barge into the office.

Tara was seated in one of the plain beige chairs directly across from the office counter. Jax bent down to examine her closely. Her whole body was slumped, her knuckles were bruised, and a faint pink bruise showed on the side of her face. "What happened?" Jax whispered gently.

"Evidently you can't keep your whores in check," Tara spat out angrily. Jax drew back in surprise, but before he could respond both Mrs. O'Connor and Mrs. Hale stepped back into the room.

"How can I help you, Mr. Teller?" Mrs. O'Connor glanced between Jax and Tara in disapproval.

"I'm checking on my friend," Jax replied tersely before ignoring her. "Do you need to see the nurse? I'll take you home."

"You'll do no such thing," Mrs. O'Connor interrupted. "Mrs. Hale has been kind enough to offer Tara a ride home." Tara rolled her eyes but couldn't keep two tears from rolling down her face. "I'll follow you," Jax told Tara softly. "Then we can talk."

"The school day isn't over, Mr. Teller. Do I need to call Principal Stevens to aide your decision making?"

"Tell Principal Stevens to save himself the paperwork. I'll be happy to take a mini-vacation. Call my mom to let her know, though." Jax couldn't help but smile at Mrs. O'Connor's grimace. No one from school liked to call Gemma; the snitch was as likely to get a tongue lashing from Gemma as he was.

* * *

Tara watched Jax's motorcycle follow Mrs. Hale's car through her side view mirror. Mrs. Hale and her husband practically owned Charming, and she knew Mrs. Hale couldn't wait to call all of her friends and talk of "saving" children like poor Tara Knowles. She claimed to be president of the P.T.A. so she advocate for the schools, but in reality all she did was delegate fundraising duties, spread gossip and act superior. And when your husband is a federal judge and your family is rich, people tend to tolerate and even admire the behavior. Of course she would be the first person Mrs. O'Connor ran to for assistance.

"You have such potential, Tara. All of your teachers talk about how intelligent and diligent you are." Tara made an effort to listen and nod in all the right places. She knew it was only a matter of time before one of her dad's barmates told him what happened today; news would spread fast. Tara could only pray he would be too drunk to remember when he arrived home.

"I had hoped that being friends with my son and taking advanced classes would expand your way of thinking. People like David can be positive influences if you allow them to be." Tara wanted to vomit at Mrs. Hale's condescending tone.

"If you keep your grades up, my husband can help you get a scholarship for college. Having thugs for friends will not help you succeed in that endeavor. You can rise _above_ your parents." Tara could barely handle Mrs. Hale's self-righteousness. Evidently the momma's boy had mentioned Tara's new friendship. She wished Jax's bike could somehow run over Mrs. Hale's car.

Mrs. Hale parked her car in front of Tara's house. She placed a patronizing hand on Tara's shoulder. "I know your home life is not… ideal. Why don't you have dinner with my family tonight? Mr. Hale can talk to you about your future goals." Mrs. Hale looked at Tara's face expectantly.

Tara decided to give Mrs. Hale something to take back to her admirers. "I appreciate your offer, Mrs. Hale, but I wouldn't want you to sully your good name, you know, with my drunk daddy and hood friends and all. Thank you for the ride." Tara opened up the passenger door and stepped out the car quickly.

Mrs. Hale began to unclasp her seatbelt; Tara noticed and spoke through the door window. "I don't' recall inviting you in, Mrs. Hale. I'll be just fine all alone in my house with Jackson Teller." Tara began walking towards her front door while Jax parked his bike and unbuckled his helmet. Tara turned back briefly towards Mrs. Hale's car. "Tell David I said hi."

* * *

"What is your problem, Tara? Let me help you!" Jax was exasperated. Each time he tried to place alcohol on Tara's knuckles she would jerk them away. "You're getting mad at _me_?" Tara was seething. "You weren't the one getting her head plastered in!"

"How else am I supposed to feel? You won't TALK to me!" Jax paused for a moment before continuing. His voice was almost pleading. "Please tell me what happened."

Tara jumped right to the point. "Why is Tricia Moore so interested in who you're hanging out with?" Tara's voice was sullen. "She seems to think you're slumming right now."

Jax took a deep breath and tried to calm himself. He'd wondered when this would become a problem. It was no secret that Jax Teller had participated in his share of sexual exploits, but Tara hadn't even hinted about wanting to know about that part of his life. Jax certainly wasn't going to bring it up willingly.

"You know I'm sorry for this. She didn't, doesn't mean anything to me. None of them do. That's all over and done with, I promise."

It was Tara's turn to pause. "What are we doing here, Jax?" What is this?" The question was reasonable but Jax was afraid to confront the truth. He decided to hedge his bets. "We're good friends."

Tara wasn't sure why but the fight had made her brave and she decided to lay her cards on the table. "Well maybe I don't want to be friends anymore," Tara said in a small voice. Her tone turned sarcastic and playful to hide her fear. "If I'm going to get my brain bashed in I might as well get something out of it."

Jax's mind proceeded to whirl at her revelation. He didn't know how to handle her confession. He had placed the term girlfriend beside her name on more than one occasion but would brush it off as ridiculously stupid. Why commit to one person when he had all the females he could handle? The irony was that Jax hadn't been with any female since Tara forgave him at Charming Gardens, sexual or otherwise. Jax refused to analyze why Tara was so much more special than any other girl in his life. He didn't think Tara understood how she owned him, completed him, breathed life into him. Jax's journal had turned into one big Elizabeth Barrett Browning sonnet, and he was sure it wasn't because of Mr. Barnes' lectures. The worst part of all was he had no idea how to handle this knowledge. Jax only knew his instinct to love and protect Tara would never go away.

The jumble in Jax's mind caused a prolonged silence. Tara's nerves were frayed and the humiliation was more than she could handle.

"You're a coward, Jackson. Get the fuck out of my house."

Tara's command snapped him out of his stupor. "Tara, wait," Jax blurted. "I'm in love with you. I always have been. I can't _be _without you in my life."

* * *

Tara was so relieved she thought she would cry from the stress of not knowing for so long. She had dreamed of this for so long but now that the conversation was over she was painstakingly aware she had absolutely no experience in this matter. After several minutes she admitted her incompetence while gazing at the floor.

"I don't know what to do now, Jax. You have to help me." Jax knew he would never forget the way Tara looked at him at this moment, with such love and vulnerability.

Jax walked carefully towards Tara until they were face-to-face. Jax actually felt goddamn electricity spark the air the closer he came to Tara. Weeks of pining for and dreaming about this woman had reduced Jax into a two-dimensional figure. There was a side that reveled in finding his soul mate, in finding the one person who got him on both an intellectual and emotional level. The flipside had lusted after Tara for so long he was scared to touch her for fear he might blow in his jeans. Everything had been a turn-on from day one. Being close to her everyday for so long had only amplified the stimuli his body received from her. He loved Tara's style of dress – vintage t-shirts that were just tight enough to hug her ample breasts, dark wash jeans that highlighted her hips and ass, all of it just perfect for riding on the back of his motorcycle. Tara's glossy hair was usually in a ponytail, and sometimes in class he would playfully twirl it around his fingers so he could feel its silkiness. When they hung out Jax would see how close to could stand to Tara without her stepping away. During lunch Jax would become mesmerized while watching Tara eat: he would have to catch himself from openly staring at her full, pink lips.

Jax paused his steps when he was able to hold Tara completely in his arms. Jax placed a soft finger underneath Tara's chin and turned her face towards him. "We can take our time," Jax whispered honestly while praying Tara wouldn't need a great deal of it. "All I need right now is a kiss." With that Jax dipped his head and gently placed his lips on hers. Tara tasted like honeysuckle and summer days, clean and untouched, and it took every fiber of his being not to groan. Jax kept his pecks soft, leisurely and weighty upon her own and she unconsciously opened her lips slightly. Jax read her approval, making his kisses deeper and silkier until Tara had to grab onto his shoulders to keep her knees from buckling.

Jax tried to keep himself from reacting to Tara's body press but he knew she had to feel what this small amount of touching was producing. His heart was racing and he couldn't believe his hands _weren't_ shaking as he pressed forward. Jax's hands moved from its gentle hold on Tara's face and continued upward until they encompassed her ponytail. Jax unclasped it and marveled as the thick strands ran between his fingers.

Tara wove her arms around Jax's neck and clung even tighter. She angled and re-angled her head to match Jax's force. When Tara felt the tip of Jax's tongue outline her inner lips her legs developed a mind of their own and pushed her body upward to produce friction. Jax instinctively placed his hands under her ass and held the zipper portion of her jeans against his growing erection. Tara removed her mouth from Jax's and gasped at the sensations erupting from her breasts and mound.

"My room." Tara couldn't figure out how her voice had suddenly turned into a growl but that question was secondary to how fast she could get Jax into her room. Tara pushed her body away from his, grabbed Jax's hand, and pulled him forcefully towards her room down the hall. Tara's chest held a fluttery airiness that was her heart and her legs were trembling in her haste. She was moving quickly not because she was afraid she would change her mind – she was afraid she would burst from the pressure of wanting Jax for so long and being this close to having him.

Jax had barely entered her door's threshold before Tara's body crashed into his and her arms held him close. _Jesus_, Jax thought; he couldn't believe how soft and warm Tara felt in his arms. Jax could feel cascades of Tara's hair flowing upon his cheeks and stubble and felt this was God's reward for sending him bullshit for so many years. Jax knew no croweater or one-night stand could ever compare to Tara. His olfactory glands were filled with the clean smell of her hair, the bottom of her t-shirt had crept upwards and he could feel the warmth of her lower back in his hands. Jax's lips continuously sought Tara's; he felt nothing but awe for this woman for allowing him to experience her in this way.

Their legs created a slow dance that eventually led to Tara's modest bed. Tara willingly sat on its edge and scooted until she placed herself in its center. Jax didn't hesitate to crawl towards and above her; he used the weight of his body to encourage Tara to lay back on the soft mattress. Waves of breathtaking kisses assaulted Tara's mouth as she used her arms to press Jax's full mass on top of her own. Tara repeatedly dragged her hands up and down Jax's back. The taunt muscle she felt underneath Jax's tee caused tiny electric ripples to form just below the surface of her mound and she writhed below Jax to help the sensation continue.

Jax's hair stood on end every time he felt Tara's hands on his torso. Tara movements had become bold in a matter of minutes and Jax was proud he produced this much excitement in her. Jax had tried to assume a plank position to avoid crushing Tara but her arm strength took him by surprise. _All the gardening_, Jax thought absentmindedly and for the first time saw how the hobby might have its benefits. Jax looped his forearms and hands underneath Tara's shoulders and rolled their bodies until Tara lay on top of him. Jax let his hands roam eagerly along Tara's back and ass. Tara's hair draped leisurely along both sides of his face and Jax luxuriated in its silky softness. Jax had told Tara he could be patient but his lust protested and lured his hands into snaking underneath the bottom of Tara's t-shirt and gliding upward towards her bra strap. The goosebumps Jax felt along her spine determined his next step and Jax unhooked her bra strap with ease. Jax's hand traveled further and slid the shoulder straps downward before pushing Tara's torso gently off his own.

The look on Tara's face as she half-straddled, half stooped over his prone body probably matched his own. Lips bruised, cheeks flushed. Tara's hair hugged her shoulders and her chest was panting. It was Tara's eyes, though, that made Jax freeze. Tara's irises had gone darker and were transmitting everything he felt as well. Love and trust, need and lust. Jax had pushed Tara upward to reiterate he was okay with waiting but Tara's eyes and his painful bulge caused that thought to evaporate. Instead, Jax pulled Tara's t-shirt up and away from her shoulders and face. He used his fingertips to drag Tara's bra down her arms. Tara had just a nanosecond to enjoy Jax's appreciative stare before she felt his mouth engulf her nipple.

Tara groaned but didn't feel embarrassed. Jax's mouth and tongue were repeatedly sucking and licking one breast while his other hand lovingly kneaded the second. Tara knew the newness of these actions and sensations should have placed the fear of God in her but it felt normal and _so good_ with Jax. Tara's mind began to shut down and she grabbed onto Jax's hair for stability while he continued to tug on and kiss her breasts. Tara felt her hips and ass begin grinding against Jax's hard, full bulge without her consent but it felt too good to stop as Jax's fingers stroked down her stomach and fingered the waistband of her jeans. Warning bells sounded in Tara's mind but she couldn't stop grinding on Jax's cock and thought she would burst before she could remember how to speak.

"Jax. Oh, God, Jax." Tara's voice dripped with a tone she wasn't familiar with.

"Yeah, babe." Jax had removed his mouth from her breasts and was currently kissing her collarbone. Jax's voice was a strangled whisper and Tara was shocked at how turned on she became at its sound.

"We have to stop. NOW. We have to stop!" Tara's fingers gripped Jax's shoulders hard until pink blotches appeared under her fingertips.

"Tara, did I hurt you?" Jax's eyes lost their fogginess and snapped open. The panic in Jax's voice made Tara feel guilty and protected at the same time. Tara rose to a complete straddle at Jax's waist. The thought to cover up in front of Jax never occurred to her.

"We can't do that this time." Tara allowed her eyes to roam around her room to avoid meeting Jax's gaze.

"What's wrong?" Jax had thought Tara was doing a dynamite job for her first time, but then wondered if it _was_ her first time at this. A surge of jealousy engulfed Jax's body.

Tara's face turned bright red and Jax knew he would never tire of seeing Tara's blush. "I don't have on matching lingerie." Tara's mumble was so soft Jax thought he misheard her.

"Your underwear doesn't match?" Jax lay dumbfounded for a moment before beginning to chuckle, then laugh. "You really think I care about your underwear at this point?" Jax glanced playfully at Tara's discarded bra. "But I _would_ like to know what your official bra size is."

It was Tara's turn to laugh while smacking Jax on the head. "You're all class, Teller."

Jax turned serious. "Are you sure that's it, babe? I promise I won't ever do anything you don't want me to." Tara wiggled briefly on Jax's continued erection while raising an eyebrow at him. Jax sputtered, "We don't even have to go this far anymore if you don't want. I love you."

"I love you, too. I would just prefer to look pretty and feminine my first time. I found my soul mate and now I just need the right panties." Jax knew his mouth took on an idiotic smile when she said "soul mate," but he didn't care. Tara thought Jax's smile was in response to her explanation. The statement sounded ridiculous even to her ears, but it was the truth and Tara could do nothing more but laugh.

Well, your birthday suit's just fine with me," Jax drawled, then grinned wickedly. "It's where we'll end up anyway."

Tara rolled her eyes while Jax placed her hands in his. "I really love you Tara, and anything you want is fine."

Tara's voice was soft. "I love you too, Jackson. Trust me, you won't be waiting much longer." Tara couldn't control the goosebumps that overtook her body. "A week may be too long as this point. And I'm talking about me, not you."


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Thank you, elbeewoods.**

**I own nothing.**

**Thank you to my guest(s) for your kind reviews.**

Jax's hair was still damp as he hurriedly secured his helmet and put on his sunglasses. The good citizens of Charming were still at breakfast so there was practically no traffic on the residential streets. The day was going to be a beautiful one – the sky was a bright blue and the sun provided a gentle warmth on Jax's face. As Jax's bike closed its approach to Tara's house he tapered the speed on his motorcycle until he came to a complete stop. He then cut the ignition and rolled his motorcycle into a parking spot two blocks from Tara's house.

This was the first official day of Jax and Tara being girlfriend and boyfriend. Jax and Tara had spent the rest of last evening in each other's arms, and had talked until Tara's father came home unexpectedly. It had never occurred to Jax until then that Gerald Knowles could have a huge impact on his and Tara's relationship. Before Tara Jax wouldn't have given a rat's ass about a girl's father and the dad's impression of him. Now that opinion had changed and he doubted he would earn any points if he swaggered out of Tara's bedroom door at midnight, not to mention the trouble he would cause for Tara. Tara and Jax's only option was for him to leave out her bedroom window. Tara cut on her radio alarm clock and acknowledged her father's presence while Jax opened her window fully. It was a bit of a contortionist's act – Tara's window was standard-sized, the window didn't raise above a couple of feet and Jax was six feet tall. Jax couldn't help but smile at the memory. He couldn't believe the things he was already doing for his girlfriend. His _girlfriend_.

The drama of last night should have given Jax pause but it didn't. If anything, it irritated him to have his time with Tara shortened even though it was practically midnight when he left. The interruption spurred Jax into waking as soon as the sunbeams hit his bedroom window; Jax grabbed a towel for his shower and washed in haste. His mother was preparing coffee in the kitchen when Jax walked in. Gemma wore a silk robe while Clay sat at the kitchen table with a mug in his hand. If Jax wasn't so concerned about seeing Tara he would have been angered by Clay's early arrival; right now he just rolled his eyes and decided to compartmentalize it for later. Jax took a quick gulp out of his mother's coffee mug, told her not to expect him early, and walked towards the door.

Jax parked away from Tara's house for two reasons: he wanted to surprise Tara with his unexpected day off from the shop and because he didn't want to spook Tara's dad. Jax figured no father would be thrilled about his daughter talking to a boy with a motorcycle license.

As Jax began unbuckling his helmet his eye caught an unexpected movement on one of the nearby lawns. He was shocked to see a pretty girl in a Pink Floyd sweatshirt cutting chrysanthemums from several neighbor's lawns. Jax smirked. His girl was full of surprises.

Jax sauntered across the empty street as quietly as his Adidas would allow. It would be easier to walk up on Tara while her back was towards him and she was in the midst of swiping red and yellow flowers. Jax crept towards Tara's rear and leaned towards her ponytail. Whispering the word "boo" in Tara's ear produced the desired effect: a girly squeal popped from her lips as she turned her body towards the voice.

"Jax!" Tara's eyes widened and a huge smile appeared on her lips as her arms encircled his neck. "You creep! You know there are laws against stalking, right?"

"Just trying to show my affection," Jax chuckled as he returned Tara's hug with his own. Jax couldn't resist a quick kiss before nodding towards the gardening shears and flowers in Tara's hands. "You know there's laws against property damage, too." Jax laughed when Tara's cheeks flushed at the comment.

"It's all for a good cause," explained Tara as she swatted a piece of mulch off her jeans. "And I only steal flowers from bitches." Tara smiled at Jax mysteriously. "Want to see why?" Jax nodded.

Tara craned her neck when she realized she hadn't heard a motorcycle rumble to announce Jax's presence. "Where did you park?" Jax bent his neck in the Dyna's direction. "Pull up your bike and I'll meet you at the curb." Jax obliged and jogged back to his bike.

Tara was standing at the corner, her saddlebag full of flowers, when Jax arrived. While Tara put on a helmet he checked out a shiny black Cutlass in her driveway. "That your dad's?" Tara rolled her eyes. "Yeah, he's sleeping off his hangover." Jax had planned to ask Tara about her father's arrival last night, but something about Tara's tone told him to delay the question for another time.

"Where to?" asked Jax after Tara climbed aboard his Harley. "Charming Cemetery," stated Tara as she wrapped her arms tighter around Jax. Jax turned his neck to make sure he heard correctly. Tara raised her voice above the engine's sound. "You heard right." Jax chuckled as he revved his engine and took off. Yeah, his girl was full of surprises.

* * *

Jax was surprised to see his bike wasn't the only vehicle in the cemetery's parking lot. Acres of beautiful green lawn rolled behind an ornate black gate and the entire premises held a feeling of serenity for its living visitors. Jax took Tara's saddlebag off her shoulders and carried it as she took his hand and led him through the wrought iron doors. "Is this how you spend your Saturday mornings?" Jax was curious. In all the weeks they'd been together Jax had never thought to ask Tara how she spent her Saturday mornings. He'd just assumed she spent it studying.

"Most of them," Tara replied as if it were normal for a teenager to visit gravesites on a Saturday morning. Jax and Tara continued walking for some distance until they stopped in front of a small but pretty tombstone with engraved flowers. Tara made herself comfortable on the green grass in front of the granite and lightly jerked the saddlebag on Jax's shoulder. Jax relinquished it as he sat down hesitantly. He watched as Tara removed gardening shears, flower picks and a water bottle. Tara busied herself with securing the water picks in the ground before filling them with liquid. She then used her scissors to cut off most of the chrysanthemum stems before inserting them into the tiny picks. Before long a pretty patch of flowers bloomed just underneath the words, "Elaine Knowles, Beloved Wife and Mother." Tara seemed satisfied as she perused her work. "I thought mom could use a little pick-me-up. And dad doesn't say anything but I think he likes it." Tara repacked the saddlebag with the leftover materials before stretching her legs and propping her body weight on her elbows. The sun's brightness brought out the reddish highlights in Tara's locks as she lifted her face towards its rays.

Jax felt surprisingly comfortable considering he was relaxing over the casket of Tara's mother. The stillness of the cemetery felt good, and Jax knew only Tara could make him feel at ease in a place typically known for its sorrow.

"This how your visit usually goes?"

"Mainly." Tara cocked her head towards Jax as if reading his mind. "Leukemia." Jax shook his head in understanding.

Several minutes passed by as they lazed on the cemetery's lawn. There was no conversation, just a gentle hush that engulfed them. Jax had begun to allow the breeze to lure him into sleepiness when Tara began to speak. "Being here reminds me of my father, of how he used to be. It reminds me I don't have to end of up like my parents. I don't have to stay in Charming if I don't want and I definitely don't have to end up as a drunk." Tara stared at her flats as she talked. "Most of Charming would beg to disagree of course." Tara shrugged. "My mom used to tell me I could be or do whatever I wanted and being here reminds me of that."

After several more minutes Tara rose and secured her belongings. "Where's your dad's plot?" Jax looked at Tara incredulously. "What?"

"Your father's grave. Which way?"

Jax could think of a million reasons why he didn't want to pay respects to his father but couldn't think of a way to tell Tara without looking like either a pussy or a prick. It had only been months since JT's death while Tara had had several years to come to grips with her mother's. Anxiety began brewing in the pit of his stomach and he thought he might be sick.

"We don't have to go this time." Jax swallowed hard in an attempt to control his breathing. As reluctant as Jax was about visiting his father's grave he would rather do that than be the cause of Tara's worried look. "It's okay," Jax managed a shaky smile as he rose. "It's just this will be my first official visit." Tara placed her hand on top of Jax's and gently squeezed. "It'll be better than you think."

It took a few missteps before Jax found his bearings, but eventually they found their way to the Veterans memorial section. Jax didn't let go of Tara's hand as he slowly came face-to-face with the tall, distinguished marker that bore the name John Teller. Jax didn't know if it was the sunlight but the grave radiated a peace that took Jax totally by surprise. Jax was scared the feeling was a mirage that was fucking with his emotions but it didn't fade even as he crept closer to the shiny marble. Jax produced an audible exhale and didn't realize how shaky his legs had been until he collapsed on the grass while inadvertently pulling Tara down as well. Jax didn't know how long he took just enjoying the peace and fresh air while Tara leaned her head on his shoulder. Eventually Jax wrapped his arms around Tara. "Thank you," Jax spoke as he buried his face into her hair.

Tara raised her head in confusion. "For what?"

"For doing this. For being here." Jax placed a loving kiss on Tara's lips and smiled.

Jax allowed his entire body to lay prone on his back while Tara lay with her head on his stomach. They stayed in that position for what seemed like hours.

"JT was a great father. Loved my mother and the club. His death totally blind-sided us." Jax absentmindedly reached for his cigarettes but remembered they were at his motorcycle. He decided to close his eyes instead and Tara heard the weariness in his voice. "And now that JT's dead I'm the heir apparent and all of a sudden they have expectations for me. I'm supposed to be preparing for something but I have no idea what that is."

Jax began to check off his dad's accomplishments. "Vietnam vet. Founder and president, Sons of Anarchy Motorcycle Club. Owner of an auto repair shop. Devoted father. Loving husband and friend. How am I supposed to follow in the footsteps of such greatness?" Jax had meant the last words to be biting but they only expressed his sadness and loss and confusion. Tara raised her head to look at Jax. Tears were streaming down his cheeks as he looked up at the sky. Tara took one of Jax's hands and stroked it with her thumb.

"Pretty soon I'll start prospecting for the club. My mind keeps going back and forth and I don't know what to think sometimes." Jax paused. "I don't even know if I want to be in SAMCRO without my dad now that Clay's running things. " Tara squeezed Jax's hand while he continued." JT and I were supposed to run the club together but now it's Clay's club and it's gotten real shady. Some of the brothers don't like it and I guess they're waiting around for me to change the trajectory. My mom says the club's my legacy but I'm pretty sure she's sleeping with Clay. What's that say about loyalty?" Jax's tone was sour as he asked the question.

Jax tried to chuckle. "I don't know which one of us is worse off. You're living under the shadow of a drunk and a woman who felt trapped in Charming. I have to be a good man, whatever that means, and run a motorcycle club. At least your goals are well-defined." Tara couldn't help but chuckle as well. "I have no idea what the club or my mother want from me. But at least your mom gave you a choice." Jax allows his words to dissolve among the breeze before signaling for Tara to rise. Jax's mind felt a calmness he hadn't experienced in God knows when. Jax took Tara's hand. "You wanna make one more stop?"

Jax and Tara walked quietly to the very edge of the cemetery. Colorful benches were located along the lawn's periphery and zoo-animal topiaries were scattered here-and-there. Tara realized this portion of the cemetery was for the parents of deceased children. It was hard to be in this area and not smile. Jax walked gingerly around the grave markers until he came across the desired plaque. Tara followed his footsteps and gazed at the beautiful stone that represented Thomas Teller's presence.

"He was a tough kid." Tara nodded at Jax's declaration. She'd seen Jax's brother at Fun Town and at school functions. She remembered him always having a smile on his face. "I liked being a big brother."

"I don't know what hurts more – losing Thomas or JT," continued Jax. "But I'm happy Thomas won't have to deal with this shitstorm."

Tara wrapped her arms around Jax's waist while looking into his eyes. "You won't be going through it alone." Jax felt a warmth deep inside his chest and actually found himself smiling. "I know, babe. You don't know how much I love you for that."

* * *

"You mind holding out a little longer for lunch?" Jax straddled his bike and waited for Tara to join him in the saddle.

"Sure," Tara smiled. "You mind sharing?"

"Nah," teased Jax as Tara slid onto the motorcycle.. "It's a surprise."

The bike ride took them to a dirty looking strip mall about twenty minutes outside of Charming. Tara gazed at the decrepit old store fronts with peeling paint and faded signs. An army surplus store, an adult video store, and a liquor store were sandwiched together beside a placed called "Reaper Ink." Jax dangled their helmets atop the Dyna's handlebars and led Tara into a shop that was actually sanitary-looking on the inside. A small bell tinkled to announce Jax and Tara's entrance and a bald, humorless man greeted them almost immediately. Tara took note of his leather kutte and realized this was a SAMCRO establishment.

"Hey, Happy," Jax threw out while examining the dozens of tattoo designs hanging on every inch of wallspace.

Happy gave Tara a hardened once-over which made her flush. "I know you don't expect me to give girlie a tattoo."

"Her name is Tara and no, it's for me," Jax explained a little irritably. "I want something for my father." Happy took in Jax's statement.

"Your mom sign off on your first ink? Don't have me do something I'll regret."

"Nah, Gemma will be fine. She wouldn't block me paying respects to my old man." Jax winked at Tara, and a huge grin formed on Tara's face. She couldn't help but feel proud. Jax was sharing two firsts with her: visiting his dad's grave and getting his first tattoo.

Jax pored over a design portfolio that specialized in death-themed tattoos. He asked Tara's opinion about every sketch that caught his eye. Together they decided to combine the work of two artists: a quarter moon illuminating the tombstone of John Teller, with mourning trees and vultures completing the scene. Happy simply nodded when Tara explained the symbolism to Jax: the mourning trees represented death, but the vultures symbolized not only death but rebirth as well. "John will always be alive in you," Tara whispered softly, her eyes so sincere that Jax had no choice but to hug Tara and thank God for the gift of her love. "I guess you don't get As in English for nothin'," Jax laughed in Tara's hair while she giggled along.

Happy gave Jax a blunt to dull the needle's pain. He shared it with Tara while the tattoo was embedded into his forearm. "Congratulations," Happy said once he'd finished and admired his work. "One more step towards manhood." Jax rolled his eyes, then gave Tara a smug look. "Won't be long before you're sitting in this chair."

Tara laughed out loud at the thought. "I highly doubt it, Jackson."

"Don't be so quick, babe," Jax drawled. "I can be very persuasive."


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Thank you, elbeewoods.**

**I own nothing.**

"Let's go," Jax said with a smirk as he revved his Dyna's engine. Tara laughed before placing a quick kiss on Jax's lips and stashing some brownies in the motorcycle's saddlebag. Jax automatically took off his black hoodie and passed it to Tara. Winter in Charming was laughable to most people but 60 degrees was on the chillier side no matter where you lived. Tara took her time lowering Jax's hoodie so he could get a good view of her new outfit; it was bought courtesy of her money looting ability and Donna's lift to Stockton mall. She was wearing a soft, light-weight, plum-colored sweater that showed more cleavage than was polite for company. The purple color made her porcelain skin glow underneath the bright moonlight. That, combined with her tight, dark washed jeans and black, four inch heels made Jax want to lead Tara to the nearest bed available. Jax idly wondered if Tara had a matching lingerie set on underneath her outfit; the thought made his cock stand at attention immediately. But before Jax could produce a good visual of that image Tara had lowered his hoodie below her torso and moved towards the passenger seat. Tara then lifted her right leg in order to straddle the bike before settling into position. She weaved her arms around Jax's waist and he thought for the hundredth time that it was the most wonderful feeling in the world.

"I think you need to stay by my side tonight," Jax commented as he felt the length of Tara's body press into his back. The thought of a bunch of drunk teenagers admiring his girlfriend's body was enough to make his heart race and teeth clench. Tara's arms squeezed softly around Jax's waist. "Wouldn't have it any other way, Teller."

This Saturday night was going to be a little different from the typical talking, drinking and smoking at Opie's. Word had spread that Oswald's storage facility was empty. All of Oswald's fuel and lumber trucks were on the road and all that remained was a huge, empty space in the middle of nowhere where the junior class could party. It was near the Wahema reservation but its residents could care less about what happened outside their territory. Charming police would have no reason to patrol that far out of town and the underclassmen couldn't crash unless they had transportation. A perfect location for the upperclassmen to drink, smoke and play music. The event was going to be attended by every 11th grader at Charming High. Everything had been coordinated by Jax and Opie and no one wanted to miss a SONS party.

Jax and Opie had lifted one of Gemma's marijuana plants from her sunroom and had spent all morning rolling joints to sell for a dollar a pop. Tara used the leftover leaves to bake brownies to sell as well. Donna's brother and a few prospects had purchased beer and alcohol with the money the juniors had pooled together for the occasion. Plus, the fast approaching holidays and school break caused the students to be in an even more festive mood than usual, and everyone planned on getting drunk and high and having a good time.

Jax had another reason to be in great spirits as well. He could tell Tara was just about ready to have sex. Or maybe more accurately, make love. Lately Tara's hands and mouth had developed minds of their own and Jax was more than happy to let her explore every inch of his body. Jax had resisted doing anything to hurry or force Tara's decision, and in a tiny place in the back of his head Jax was relieved that it had taken so long. If Tara had been any other girl he wouldn't have had any hesitations about sleeping with her and showing her a good time. At an earlier point in his life Jax would have thought it ludicrous to wait a whole month to have sex, actually two if he counted when they first started hanging out together. He knew enough about female anatomy by this point to guarantee that a girl would get off with him. Jax had never minded letting his more experienced conquests take the lead and show him exactly where their trigger points were. The croweaters were especially good for doing that, and Jax figured it never hurt to learn some new things in the bedroom. It was always good to have some tricks in your back pocket because each girl was different and that was probably why he got so many repeat visits in his bed.

But Tara would be different. He loved Tara and considered her to be the most precious thing in his world. She wouldn't be some random pussy that he could toss aside once he bust his nuts. If Tara had been someone who just wanted to have a wild time, Jax knew he could oblige with his eyes closed. But Jax didn't have a road map for when the women meant more than a casual lay, and had never even seen any of his future brothers with someone they considered more than a piece of pussy. Jax knew he could go to Opie for advice, but he considered the situation to be a private matter, not even for his best friend's ears, and come to think about it, Opie had never spilled the details about any intimate moments he had with Donna. Jax knew whatever moment he had with Tara in that arena would be magical for him, but he was afraid he wouldn't be able to provide Tara with as wonderful an experience. Tara was a virgin, and the thought of not pleasing Tara her first time around was enough to make him forego the whole event entirely and just stick to shirtless kissing and fondling. Jax thought it was insane for him to even make peace with that choice because he couldn't remember a time since he was fifteen when he didn't at least get a blowjob several nights a week.

Jax was just about to maneuver his bike down the driveway when his pager started vibrating on his hip. Jax knew it couldn't be Opie calling; Opie would know he was on the road and wouldn't want to cause a distraction. That only left one person, someone who wouldn't give a damn about disturbing others if it suited her needs. Jax quickly decided to ignore it, telling Tara that it could wait until they made it to Oswald's.

A loud, persistent ringing sound began as soon as Jax finished his comment. Tara looked puzzled for a minute before hopping off the Harley and dashing to her front porch. "It might be my dad," Tara called out as she unlocked the door. Sometimes the police station would call to let Tara know they had her father for "safety reasons" but she decided to keep that tidbit to herself.

Jax walked through Tara's doorway just as she lifted the phone and greeted the caller. Jax knew the voice on the other side of the receiver couldn't be a pleasant one from the way Tara furrowed her eyebrows and set her chin.

"It's your mother," Tara whispered towards Jax as she covered the mouthpiece with her hand. It was Jax's turn to look puzzled. He had taken great pains to keep his girlfriend away from Gemma and her thinly-veiled hostility. Jax had never been involved with a girl this long and he knew his mom wouldn't take kindly to anyone she thought would compete with her status as number one. How in the hell did she get Tara's number? Jax shook his head in irritation; did it even matter at this point?

Jax walked towards Tara and took the phone from her hand. "What?" Jax hoped his resentment rang loud and clear in Gemma's ears.

"Where are you?" demanded his mother.

Jax didn't even try to rein in his temper. "Where in the hell do you think I am? You called _me_!" Jax was exasperated. He knew Gemma made it a point to be privy to the happenings of his life. There was never a moment when she didn't know about Jax's whereabouts whether he told her or not. Gemma rarely shut down his actions but she always knew what was going down in his life. At times it was a pain in the ass but he tried to cut her some slack because the cause was Thomas' death.

"You need to come back. I need you to run to the house and pick something up for the club."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Jax couldn't believe his mother would ask him to do this. After all, she had several prospects at her command to run her bitch errands, and she had to know that Jax had helped organize the party he and Tara were attending.

"Won't take too long. Besides, you're not fashionable unless you're at least an half-hour late."

Jax weighed his options. He knew he could just ignore his mother's request, but that would result in God knows what kind of punishment. Gemma might not have laid a hand on his ass since he was five, but she was still a master at making his life miserable if she felt he had crossed the line of respectfulness. Besides that, she was screwing the president of the Sons of Anarchy, someone he may have to answer to someday, and the last thing he needed was for Clay to hold a grudge against him for not being an obedient son to his old lady.

"Jesus Christ, what could be so important?"

Gemma knew she had him from his pause, and made her voice sound thankful. "Money from the safe to back the bets being made." Jax still knew this was a bullshit errand because she could have sent the SONs treasurer, Bobby, to get the funds, but it would be best to get the task over with so he would be left alone for the rest of the night.

"Give me thirty minutes." As Jax hung up the phone he turned sideways to glance at his girlfriend. She remained silent, but had a puzzled look on her face. "I'm sorry. Got to deal with Gemma first." Jax's voice was apologetic.

Tara shrugged her shoulders. "Let's get it done, then."

Jax released a breath he didn't know he was holding. As usual, his girlfriend didn't question the demands occasionally placed on him, simply accepted them and rode along. He was grateful for Tara's mindset, and it only confirmed to him that they were meant to be together. Lord knows he would need her understanding when the time came for him to prospect.

* * *

Tara's stomach became queasy when Jax rolled through the gates at Teller-Morrow; it was her first time at the site. Jax had to wait for the guards to recognize him before they opened the security doors, and Tara couldn't help but wonder what was so precious on the property that it needed to be protected by angry looking men with military guns in their hands. Tara couldn't help but take in a good visual of the layout as Jax slowed his motorcycle and backed into a parking space next to what she assumed was the SONs meetinghouse. What stood before her sent her mind into a state of fear and her body into a "flight or fight" mode. Dozens of hardened-looking men in leather vests were scattered along the perimeters of the Teller-Morrow auto shop as well as on the porch of the Sons of Anarchy's clubhouse - the place that incurred the gossip and notoriety of Charming's citizens. Men and scantily-clad women were either sitting on benches in front of the clubhouse's entrance or smoking blunts and drinking along the outskirts of the building. A fire had been lit in a couple of open garbage cans and produced an eerie glow that highlighted the inhabitants of the surrounding area. On the right-hand side of the clubhouse was a boxing ring with two men on either side preparing for a fight. Whoever wasn't lurking among the grounds of the repair shop or the clubhouse was surrounding the ring and giving cheers to one or the other fighters involved.

Jax was wordless as he left the bike's driver seat and tugged urgently on Tara's arm to remove her from the rear. Tara had remained silent when Jax pulled into his house's driveway a few minutes ago and had her wait in the living room while he entered his mother's bedroom. He had exited the room with what appeared to be several thousand's worth of cash. Tara had been speechless at the amount of money Jax was holding and she got the distinct feeling that Jax was relieved she didn't make a comment about the funds. Jax had stuffed the money into one of his bike's saddlebags and had repositioned his bucket on his head before Tara had even reached for her helmet. The ride to Teller-Morrow had been silent, and Tara had felt an anxiety usually reserved for when her father returned home after a long binge.

"Hey, Jax, how's it going, man?" A man with soft dark ringlets, big blue eyes, and a well-groomed goatee called as Jax pulled her towards what appeared to be an office. Jax nodded curtly but didn't stop his gait towards a small, lighted room that appeared to be empty at first glance. Tara followed Jax up the steps to the office and stood behind him as he addressed a woman with dark brown hair, an all-black outfit and heels that Tara could never manage. Jax used a tight clip as he spoke. "Who do I give the house to?"

"And good evening to you, too. Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend? Been long overdue." The woman asked in a saccharine sweet voice.

"Mom, Tara, Tara, my mother." Jax reluctantly took two steps to the side so Tara could get a full view of his mom.

"Pleasure's all mine," Gemma drawled before Tara had a chance to speak. "I've heard a lot about Gerald's Knowles' daughter. Couldn't wait to meet you for myself." Tara felt a dread that surpassed anything she had felt since her mom's illness. Jax's mom turned her head towards her only son. "Give Bobby the funds so Tara and I can become acquainted." Tara's alarm became even more intense as she felt Jax's reluctance to leave her alone with his mother.

"Don't worry, I won't keep her long." Jax's mom's voice should have been soothing but made the hairs on Tara's head stand at attention.

Jax narrowed his eyes at his mother but left the office as if to finish his instructions as soon as possible. For a brief moment Tara hated Jax for leaving her in such a vulnerable position.

Once Jax was out of earshot Gemma began her attack. "So you're the latest pussy my son is trying to hit." Tara was so shocked by the language Gemma used that she could only stare in disbelief. "I have to hand it to you, you've been able to keep my son's attention for the longest I've ever witnessed."

The intellectual side of Tara's brain began ringing bells and reminded her to be courteous to adults no matter how vile they were. Tara's survival instinct won the battle in her brain though and took control of her mouth.

"I'm sorry, but Jax rarely mentions you, Mrs., um, Teller? I know you'll be changing your name soon so I'm not sure what to call you." Tara used her nicest smile as she spoke; she knew the dig would take Gemma by surprise. Tara had no idea whether Clay or Gemma would be getting married but she wanted Gemma to know her son knew everything about their relationship.

The comment took Gemma off-guard. Jax had actually opened up his life to Tara. No man did that unless he planned on having a long relationship with a woman. Not only that, Tara's little aside reminded Gemma of how her son felt about Clay sharing her bed. A mean little smile briefly crossed Gemma's face. She knew Tara was smart and resourceful but had no idea she could be fierce. Tara wasn't going to let anyone walk over her and Gemma had to give the girl points for that. It was making a little more sense why Jax had fallen for her, and Gemma knew Jax was hooked the moment he came to Charming Gardens to talk to her. What she hadn't known was besides her looks and body, Tara possessed a strength and sense-of-self that was quieter than Jax's but just as strong. Gemma had to acknowledge to herself that this bitch might be around for a long time and she had better get used to it. Still, that wouldn't prevent her from trying to sabotage their relationship whenever she could.

"Don't worry, you won't be around long enough to find out." Gemma cut her eyes at Tara so forcefully she couldn't help but tremble slightly.

"You must know you and Jax won't be a long-term thing. You're just a challenge until he finds something better to focus on. Evidently your schoolbooks didn't teach you that." Tara noted how much pleasure Gemma Teller seemed to take while cutting her down.

"Did you really think going with Jax to get his tattoo meant anything?" Gemma couldn't help but let the scathing in her voice show. When Gemma first saw Jax's tattoo she confronted Happy about it. And when Happy told her that Jax had taken Tara to JT's gravesite _and_ brought Tara to the tattoo parlor she had been furious. She had always thought his first tattoo and JT visit was something they would do together. Instead, this piece of gash had not only beat her to it on both counts, she had helped Jax choose the tattoo for JT's commemoration.

"That boy would do anything if he thought it would help him get in someone's panties."

Tara told herself that Gemma was lying; no one who wasn't sincere could have expressed as much emotion or vulnerability on that day. Tara closed her eyes and tried to control her breathing; she knew any sign of weakness would heighten the woman's attack and she couldn't let her get the upper hand. "Well, I guess you'll never know since you weren't with him."

Gemma was furious by this point; she couldn't believe some sixteen-year-old actually thought she could go toe-to-toe with her about her son. Gemma needed to go all-out on Tara. She'd be damned if she let Tara take her place in Jax's life and interfere with his future.

"Are you really deluded enough to think you can fit into my son's life? A sweet, little innocent girl like you who leaves every summer for San Diego with her cousin? Do you really think a couple of months of learning my son is enough to handle him? Don't kid yourself. Your little summers with your cousin haven't given you the training to handle my son and all that comes with the package. We all know your plans for the future: a life in San Diego free from your drunk father and the redneck citizens of your hometown. So long to the place that gave you roots and a sense of belonging. What kind of person do you think you are, with no loyalty to your father or the people who carried you through your mother's death? Do yourself a favor and run away to cousin Pat before your feelings get hurt." Gemma's eyes were steely and they stared like lasers at Tara's face.

Jax reappearance prevented Tara's rebuttal but he knew from the color on Tara's face the women's conversation hadn't been pretty. Jax embraced Tara's stiff body in his arms as he directed his words towards his mother. "Understand this, mom: Tara is here to stay and you need to get used to it. I thought Clay was doing a better job at keeping you in check, but maybe I underestimated the strength of your relationship. After all, I'm sure no one could take the place of my father in your heart." Jax's words were cutting and Gemma actually felt nauseous for about thirty seconds after Jax's statement.

"What's crawled up your ass, Jackson? I thought you would want me and your girlfriend to connect." Gemma's tone was sweet but her eyes told Jax about the malice that had been previously displayed. Jax grabbed Tara's hand. "We need to roll."

"Stay a little while longer, Jackson." It was more than a request but Gemma's voice had gone from fake sincerity to almost pleading. "I hardly ever see you between school and your….extra-curricular activities." Gemma took another hard look at Tara and Jax couldn't believe his mother would hold a grudge against someone who actually _encouraged_ him to attend school.

"The club's having an inauguration party for the new boxing ring and fight club," Gemma said as she nodded towards the noise outside. "You need to be here and show your face for a minute." Gemma took a deep breath. "Clay also has an announcement to make. It concerns you, too, and it'll happen in a couple of minutes." Jax saw his mother's body tense and something akin to guilt cloud her face; he gave his mother a weary stare in response. He had no idea what it could be about and that caused his body to tense as well.

Tara shifted uncomfortably and peeked at Jax's face. "Five minutes." Jax's tone was gruff and Gemma looked as though she might argue but decided against it. Jax pulled on Tara's hand and led her out the office door.

* * *

Jax sighed. He had tried to keep Tara as far away from Teller-Morrow and the clubhouse as he could. And of course, the day she officially visits is the day the club breaks in their newest toy.

Tara had been confused when Gemma used the word inauguration but now it made sense. Black and white balloons were loosely tied to the boxing ring's ropes and the entire set-up looked shiny and new. Tara had no doubt it would look totally different soon if the expressions on the fighters' faces were any indication. Another man with a vest was holding a clipboard in front of the ring and scribbling information while people called out dollar amounts. The whole environment held a barbaric feel and Tara squeezed onto Jax's hand in anxiety.

"Come on," Jax said softly as he led Tara through the bodies around the clubhouse porch and into the building. The huge main room smelled like sweat, weed, and cheap perfume. There were almost double the number of people inside than outdoors, and the room's floor vibrated from the music and bass sounds playing from a huge speaker. A huge white cloud hung above the entire room due to all of the weed and cigarettes being smoked. Bottles of beer and tequila were passed around by guys who didn't look much older than her and Jax but who were wearing leather vests with the word PROSPECT sewn on the back. The sight might have passed for a sleazy bar on a Saturday night except that all the men sported leather and corrupt, lethal looks while the women looked and dressed like prostitutes and porn stars. The whole scene renewed Tara's sense of intimidation and she swallowed hard to try to hide her panic.

Jax could feel Tara's anxiety and led her past the great room and into a small hallway with doors on either side. Moans and bedframe squeaks could be heard from behind a couple of doors and Tara turned away from them in distaste. Jax calmly led Tara further back until he opened the last door in the hall and scooted her into a room that resembled a dorm bedroom. Tara analyzed the cleanliness of the blankets on top of the bed before hesitantly sitting on its very edge. Jax leaned his body near the doorframe and watched Tara intently.

"So how do you like the clubhouse so far?" Jax tried to joke but the words came out jilted and unsure.

Tara shrugged and gave a tight smile. "I guess it's another day at the office for you."

It was Jax's turn to shrug. "Yeah, I guess it is." Jax couldn't deny this was a typical sight in his life on any given weekend, but this was the first time he felt embarrassed about it. He lifted himself off the wall and turned towards the door.

"Wait here. Lock the door behind me." Tara did as instructed and sat back down. Her mind was going a mile a minute trying figure out how she could fit into this dynamic, or if she'd even want to. Tara knew her world would be framed around this if she remained Jax's girlfriend. Slutty women who wore skirts that covered less than some thongs. Street-hardened men who had thousands of dollars at their disposal and who knows what they did to earn it. And these were actually minor concerns compared to Jax's mother. The thoughts in her head made her dizzy and she desperately needed a toke to ease her tension.

A knock on the door distracted Tara from her thoughts and she timidly unlocked the door and let Jax in. He was caring two beers and a blunt and she had to smile despite herself. "Thought you might need this. I know I do," Jax chuckled as he relocked the door and pulled up a chair next to Tara's seat. Together they drank their beer and shared puffs. Jax was quiet and so was Tara. They were both trying to regroup and make sense of how the world outside their door would change their relationship.

They were both startled out of their meditations by a sharp rap on the door. "Time to go outside," said a low voice in the hallway. "Clay's about to speak."

Tara and Jax looked at each other before holding hands and walking out the room. Jax prayed that Tara holding his hand was a sign she was willing to handle this, the club, hell, SAMCRO in general. Her hand remained inside his but her face was poker-faced and it disturbed him that she would use that look around him.

Slowly they joined the masses out of the clubhouse and into the night's darkness. Jax could see Clay standing in the middle of the boxing ring while dozens of club members and croweaters surrounded him from below. Clay looked like a king holding court from his position and Jax figured he was loving every minute of it.

"Ladies and brothers, thank you for coming out tonight to help us celebrate the newest addition to our SAMCRO family." Clay's arm performed a quick air sweep of the boxing ring and there were several chuckles among the audience as Clay continued. "We know a lot of you traveled quite aways be with us tonight and we feel blessed to have so much support. You know SAMCRO never holds back when it comes to hospitality and tonight will be no different except for the show that's about to commence." Loud shouts and claps punctured the air after Clay mentioned the impending fight.

"But before we begin, there's something else I want to announce. Something that has truly made me the luckiest man in the world but will sadden all of the eligible young ladies with us tonight." Jax felt his stomach drop; what could Clay be getting at? Tara grabbed his right hand and held it tightly. She had a gut feeling about the "young ladies" joke and wondered irrationally if she had some sort of fortune-telling ability that had remained dormant until now. Tara took a quick peek at Jax; his expression told her he was confused in general. If she was right about what was about to happen Jax would need a double dose of comfort and she began to slowly stroke her free hand against Jax's arm. Throughout all these thoughts Tara couldn't help but smirk; her previous dig at Gemma about a name change had hit harder than she realized.

Clay became serious. "It's no secret how JT's death affected the charters, but it hit SAMCRO the hardest. The only thing that pulled us through, our one saving grace, was Gemma Teller. JT was her husband, but she put her grief aside to help JT's brothers heal from their loss. It wasn't long before I became more and more dependent on her selflessness and eventually I realized I was in love with her. And the really bizarre thing is that she loves me back." A few chuckles emerged from the crowd.

"I wanted to tell my family the news. Hell, I'd shout if from the mountaintops if I could. I asked Gemma to marry me this morning and she said yes." Happy murmurs began to spread through the audience. "And now, may I please introduce my fiancée, Gemma Teller, soon to be Gemma Morrow." A huge amount of clapping and cheering took place as Gemma stepped into the boxing ring. Even more cheers were produced when Gemma and Clay embraced and kissed each other.

Jax couldn't prevent his body from shaking; his emotions felt razor-sharp and were combined into a crazy mix of anger and betrayal. Gemma and Clay hadn't had the balls to tell him privately; they knew Jax would be against the wedding but evidently his feelings didn't matter to his mother anymore. They were both cowards and he wanted to punch anything and everything that was next to him and cry for this disloyalty against SAMCRO. _Was this the type of "brotherhood" he wanted to be a part of?_ Jax thought wildly.

Tara wrapped her arms against Jax's waist and tugged against him until he looked at her. The shock was still prominent on his face and she tried to soothe him. "I'm sorry, baby. But at least it's out in the open now. You won't have to deal with Clay lurking around your house and trying to play like he's just checking up on a friend." Tara thought that at least now it was official and maybe that would help Jax deal with their impending matrimony.

Jax gave a bitter smile in response. "Yeah, instead of him lurking around my house he'll actually be _sharing_ my house now." Tara could only respond with a hug.

Jax barely had time to process the announcement before several men and women approached to offer their support. Jax forced his features into a happy expression and soon Jax was being swarmed by well wishers; Tara had to let go of Jax's hand to allow people to have more access to him. Tara thought the safest course of action would be to walk towards the motorcycles: it was pretty deserted by the vehicles and would give her some distance away from the club and its members.

Tara had been standing alone for several minutes when a voice registered in the darkness. "What're you doing over here by yourself, little girl? Don't you know the boogie man could come and get ya?" Tara looked up and was confronted by the same dark-haired man who had greeted Jax when they arrived. His tone was nice enough but the lewd looks he was giving her gave her the creeps. Tara smiled hesitantly. "Oh, I'm fine. Just waiting for Jax so we can go." The man looked as though he was going to say something else but thankfully a booming voice called his attention.

"Tig! Stop being a pervert and find someone who isn't underage," an extremely tall, gruff looking man commanded. Tara vaguely thought the man sounded like he was out-of-breath, like he'd just come back from jogging. Tig winked as he began to walk away. "See you in a couple of years," he smirked as he directed himself towards the clubhouse. Tara gave a silent word of thanks to the man who took Tig away. It was all becoming too much: the skanks, the club members, hell, the whole thing in general. The boxing match had started and Tara could hear punches land on the men's faces while the crowd shouted and urged the fighters on. Tara felt like she was on the set for the filming of a modern-day Caligula movie and her eyes searched for Jax in the crowd. Tara's eyes found him quickly but not in the manner she expected: two young, barely dressed women were hugging on Jax while he smiled and listened politely to their conversation. Before Tara could think rationally she bolted towards the girls and said "back off" with a sneer she didn't even know she possessed. The girls slowly looked at the hoodie that engulfed Tara's body and gave Jax a look that said _Really_?

Tara knew Jax was dealing with some heavy shit right now but she had had enough. She turned to face Jax and said, "We need to go. NOW." Jax didn't have time to answer before Tara had sprinted towards motorcycle and picked up a helmet.

"Tara, I'm sorry. I know it was a lot to deal with tonight." Jax tried to diffuse Tara's anger as he helped her fit her helmet. Tara was silent as she waited for Jax to sit on the driver's seat and lift the kickstand. "Let's get to our party now." Tara secured her place on the passenger seat and Jax wasted no time driving out of the Teller-Morrow lot.

* * *

"I want to go home," Tara said before Jax directed his bike towards the bi-way. Jax turned his head slightly to make sure he heard her. "I said I want to go home. Just drop me off and then head on out." Tara felt like a royal bitch considering the blow Jax had just received but Gemma, the clubhouse and the marital announcement was too much. She needed to take a breath and figure things out.

Jax knew that was the last thing he should do if he wanted to keep Tara in his life. He knew if he took her to the Knowles' house she would think long and hard about everything she'd seen tonight and reconsider being in his life. Hell, what sane person would want to deal with that unless he'd been around it since birth? Jax knew the only chance he had with Tara at this point was to get her to focus only on him and what they shared together. Jax knew that the only way he could endure the clusterfuck known as Gemma and Clay was by having Tara by his side.

Tara loosened her arms when they began approaching her house and became disconcerted when Jax didn't slow down. "Where are we going?" Tara demanded but Jax ignored her until he reached Charming Gardens.

Jax had barely turned off the bike's ignition before Tara jumped off and began gunning towards her house. Jax jumped after her and took her hand. "Tara, please, let's talk."

"Talk? About what? It's obvious I'm not the girl for you, Jax. There is no way in hell I'd ever fit into your lifestyle or win your mother's approval." Tara tried to blink back the tears that were brimming in her eyes. "There's no sense in dragging this out."

"Don't I get a say in this? This isn't just about you – it's about us." Jax's tone was pleading. "Five more minutes, that's all I ask."

Tara's silence lasted for so long Jax was scared she would tell him to fuck off and start running. Finally, Tara nodded her head but released her hand from his. "Five minutes."

* * *

The miles of dark acreage in front of Tara should have caused her a bit of unease. However, the moon still gleamed in the sky and provided a bright light, and the Gardens always filled Tara with a sense of serenity. Normally Tara would have said the same about Jax but Gemma's comments and the clubhouse mayhem were still fresh in her mind. She couldn't separate Jax from the previous events and it scared her to think that Jax had grown up with in such an unsavory lifestyle.

Jax was grateful he'd thought of the Gardens – it was quiet, empty and free from distractions. The Gardens were composed of three sections: community plots, greenhouse, and storage units. The community plots were similar to farmland and began an additional mile up the road. Instead, Jax had stopped his bike in front of the sizable, enclosed greenhouse. Tara wordlessly traveled up the few steps that led to the nursery portion of the Gardens. The crystal-clear glass walls were bright with the moon's beams and held dozens of flowers and plants in all shapes and sizes. There was no door to open, no type of security alarm to set off – Tara simply stepped through a makeshift, wooden, trellis-type walk-though and entered the greenhouse. Tara thought with more than a little irony that the criminal types she'd just left at the clubhouse were the main reasons it was safe to enter the nursery without any fear. Tonight the three-tiered fountain located in the middle of the room was surrounded by bright red poinsettias. Poinsettia plants hung at all different lengths from the roof frames as well as covered most of the floor space in the greenhouse. The petals were a beautiful sight that covered the hard dingy floor like a lush red lawn but she knew it would be short-lived. The Gardens would be starting their holiday fundraising soon and had had dozens shipped to the site to sell to the community.

Tara carefully walked through the mass of holiday plants on the ground until she found a small bench she knew was located past the fountain. Jax followed Tara silently and sat beside his lifeline; he knew if he lost Tara he would suffer a wound that would hurt more than Thomas and JT's deaths combined.

"That isn't me," Jax began. He bent his torso until it was almost parallel to his thighs and nervously used his hands to grab handfuls of the long blonde tresses on his head. "I mean, it's not the only part of me."

"But it will be soon," Tara stated quietly. A silence that used to be accepted between them with ease was deafening to their ears and Jax knew he needed to find the words to make her understand.

"What you saw, it's not all the club was meant to be. My father didn't handle the club like that. He didn't hold those type of parties and he wouldn't have agreed to a bunch of boxers breaking each other's noses at his repair shop." Jax abruptly realized that what he said was true. Sure the club had its share of celebrations when he was alive but nothing like the ones Clay had been holding for the past several months. Jax and most of the club, in fact everyone except Piney, were all for the Roman-style parties and Jax felt ashamed at the amount of fun he'd had at those events. But that was before seeing it through Tara's eyes, and now this realization that Clay had introduced that dirty element into the club left a nasty taste in his mouth. Jax's mind whirled at the contradictory thoughts in his mind. "My mother would never have signed off on it if she thought it was bad for the club. It's just a distraction to help us deal with JT."

"A distraction? Are you fucking kidding me? Going to a ball game is a distraction. A vacation is a distraction. What type of people would hold something like. . . ." Tara waves her hand in emphasis, "that as a distraction?"

"Tara, you have to believe me; things will change eventually. The club is just going through a bad period. It's not going to stay like that." Jax hoped his words sounded sure because his mind wasn't so sure.

"And where do I fit in?" Tara's voice was wavering and when Jax turned towards her he could see her tears being highlighted by the moon's beams. "What happens when you become an official part of the club?"

Jax used his index finger to lift Tara's chin. His blue eyes were serious as he told Tara, "If I do, it means you become my old lady." Jax shook his head, grasping at generalities, because he honestly had no idea what he would face if he became a SON. "It means we can make changes in the club. It means you become part of the club family and have people who love you and are loyal to you. You get the town's respect like you deserve."

Jax's voice became firm. "It means you can never, ever leave my side, because I love you too much."

The words made Tara shake slightly and her eyes begged Jax to be sincere. "Do you promise?"

"I promise I will always love you and need you." Jax's voice lowered as he whispered in Tara's ear, "You own my heart, Tara. I can't be without you."

Jax turned his head and began kissing Tara. "My life begins with you."

Tara's mind was racing and she felt like she was drunk after hearing Jax's words and feeling his breath on her face. A voice inside her head screamed she was making a mistake but she tuned out the warning. Tara returned Jax's kisses so forcefully he had to wrap his arms around her to steady their bodies. Jax's warm mouth left Tara's and began trailing towards her jawline and gently nipped along its contours until he stopped at her earlobe. Tara closed her eyes and moaned while Jax sucked and kissed it.

Jax felt Tara's hands weave into his hair and knew he was done; he couldn't control his actions anymore. Tara's scent invaded his nose as he kissed and nipped her neck and he knew he had to take more as he buried his head between her neck and shoulder-blade. Jax's fingers gently scraped the hoodie on top of Tara's breasts before traveling down towards its lower hem and raising it upward.

Tara always knew she would lose her virginity to Jax but was astonished at her willingness to do it on a greenhouse floor. Her mind was made up though; she didn't want to wait any longer and needed to do this both to express her love to him and to feel his commitment towards her.

"I want you, Jackson." Jax stopped his adoration of her neck and shoulder to look into her eyes. He didn't know if Tara's eyes held fear or if his feeling was being reflected back to him through hers. Jax wanted this more than any material thing he had ever hoped for but the thought of hurting her or providing a poor experience caused his heart to beat painfully in his chest.

Tara gruffly raised the hoodie above her head; her efforts were doubly rewarded because not only did she remove the hoodie but her sweater as well. Jax's entire brain went on autopilot at the sight of her bra and he decided to trust his senses and feelings towards her. Jax unhooked Tara's bra and immediately began sucking and nibbling one breast nipple while molding and caressing the other with his hand. The feel of Jax's rough calloused hand against her soft breast caused such a lengthy moan to escape from her mouth she barely could stop Jax for a moment.

"Jax, wait." Jax removed his head from her breast only to mold and shape both of them with his hands. Jax reclaimed Tara's mouth with urgent, nonstop kisses and Tara had to use her entire will to push him away.

Jax brain was generating a mixture of horror and confusion. Had he misinterpreted Tara? He had never intended to hurt her and it would be the hardest thing in his entire life but he would stop if she wanted to.

Tara didn't waste time explaining to Jax what she was doing. She dropped to her knees, crawled towards the opposite side of the greenhouse and roughly pushed several plants off of what, Jax couldn't tell. It was only when Tara pulled a long rectangular piece of foam from underneath the scattered plants he realized it was a pallet. Tara laid the pallet on top of an empty portion of floor and lay her body upon the cushion.

Jax felt feverish from a combination of lust and excitement, and could barely handle the sight of the girl he loved on her back with open arms directed towards him. Jax removed his clothes as fast as he could and practically ran towards Tara before kneeling between her legs and bending his torso lengthwise towards her.

Tara felt Jax's hands unclasp the button of her jeans and kicked off her heels before he pulled down both her jeans and panties. Then Jax's mouth was on her neck again as his hands toyed with her breasts. Tara's hands swept along Jax's shoulders and she arched her chest towards his hands to continue the sensations on her breasts.

Jax reveled in the pressure Tara was placing on his hands because it ensured she was enjoying herself. Anxious to give her more, Jax leisurely moved his tongue along Tara's collarbone before moving his hands to her hips. Jax trailed kisses between her breasts and down her stomach. He didn't think a girl's pleasure had ever meant so much to him and was relieved to feel her goosebumps with each bodily kiss. Jax scooted his knees back several inches to give himself room while gliding his hands up and down Tara's thighs.

Jax repositioned his head and allowed his mouth to roam from Tara's navel to the thick curls on her mound and gently engulfed large amounts of hair and skin with his teeth.

Tara whimpered at the sensual biting Jax was performing on her thatch. Tara instinctively opened her legs farther as Jack ducked his head even lower and licked her entire sex.

Jax couldn't stop licking, sucking and kissing the outer edges of Tara's walls and her nub. He loved Tara so much all he wanted to do was to drive her crazy. He wanted to erase any doubts she had about giving herself to him. Jax felt drunk as his senses went into overdrive at Tara's slightly musky scent and wetness. The feel of Tara's hips writhing into his face, her hands alternately squeezing and releasing the hair on his scalp and her continual groaning only spurred Jax on. Jax was sure this was the hardest his dick had ever been; it jumped at Tara's every sound and begged to not be ignored. Part of him wanted to receive immediate relief through Tara's body but he forced himself to act slowly and savor this moment - the first time he slept with someone he didn't consider an eventual toss away, and the first time he considered himself making love.

"Jax, please." Tara's voice had lowered an octave because of her lust and wanting. "We need the condom."

Jax refused to remove his head from between her legs. "Jax, we need the condom." It took several seconds to realize what she was asking. Jax stood up and took long strides before reaching his discarded clothes and finding his jeans. Jax pulled his wallet from the back pocket and quickly retrieved a square package from its compartment.

Tara thought her heart would stop beating when Jax arrived back with the protection. The moon caught his body at just the right angle and gave his hair a bright sheen. The lines of his tight chest muscles were excruciatingly clear and Tara couldn't believe she had the love of someone who looked like _him_. A quick glance at his long, throbbing penis reminded her that there would be pain involved in a matter of minutes but she wanted him so badly it quickly became an afterthought. She loved Jackson.

Jax knelt in between Tara's still-opened legs. Tara watched in fascination as Jax rolled the condom with all the assurance of someone who had done it many times.

"Are you sure Tara?" Tara gazed into his beautiful blue eyes and nodded.

Jax crawled on top of Tara's waiting body and placed one arm in an elbow position beside her head to support his weight. He shivered in anticipation as his other hand position his dick at her entrance.

"I love you Tara Grace." Jax claimed Tara's mouth as he slowly but determinedly pushed himself inside of her. The tightness and warmth of her made him clench his teeth to suppress the animal growls he wanted to make. He felt like his body was drowning in pleasure and knew that within these thirty seconds he had become absolutely manic about Tara's pussy. The bliss he was experiencing made it too difficult to hold his body weight on just one elbow so he quickly made a plank on top of Tara and let his eyes roll to the back of his head.

Tara's mind was adrift. Seeing the red, beautiful poinsettias surrounding her like a forest diminished the sudden pain she felt; she would have smiled at the sight but her pussy was too busy feeling like it was Jax's personal sheathe. She was aware of Jax's heated body hovering over hers and she loosely thought Jax asked her if she was okay. Tara closed her eyes and could only wonder why her hips felt compelled to rotate towards Jax's. The movement caused a burning, friction-type sensation around Jax's dick but underneath that was a titillating, nerve tingling pleasure that was expanding inside her nether regions.

Jax felt Tara's arms encircle his back as her hips moved upward. This was the answer Jax sought and he began to slowly and carefully thrust inside her. Jax continued his motions as Tara learned the stride and soon they were moving in a slow rhythm that gradually increased in tempo.

Sweat was pricking on Tara's forehead and neck and her hips were keeping time with Jax's harder, faster thrusts. Her facial cringes and verbal squeaks were making it difficult for Jax to hold his come; Jax knew that Tara's grabbing onto his back meant her body was climbing towards an orgasm but she most likely didn't know how to close the deal herself. He forced his mind to concentrate and lowered one of his hands towards Tara's nub. He used his knuckles and fingers to wiggle and place pressure on Tara's nub; he felt his own sweat dripping off his back and kept chanting_ hold on, hold on_ in his mind to halt his impeding climax.

Soon Tara's lower body began jerking hard towards Jax and he thought he shouted "Oh, shit,' before thrusting helplessly inside Tara and shooting his load. Jax placed his other arm beside Tara's face to avoiding falling onto her but didn't remove his dick because he wanted to lengthen its feeling of warmth just a little longer.

Tara weakly caressed Jax's back and raised her head slightly for a kiss. Tara's emotions kept jumping from love to satisfaction to astonishment. She wanted to focus on her love for Jax but her body was still processing all the sensations Jax's dick had developed inside her. Her pussy was still aching slightly but that was nothing compared to the satisfied glow her nub was radiating. Tara's lower body felt wobbly and she wondered how long it would be until they could have sex again.

"Are you okay?" Jax's voice was thick with contentment. He was surprised he could even form words at the moment. Tara's arms squeezed Jax's back as hard as she could before she laughed.

"I guess you didn't notice my new bra set. I should have gotten it a long, long time ago."

Jax chuckled as he rolled onto his back while embracing Tara until she was snuggled into his side. Both Jax and Tara were silent as the moon made its nightly crossing through the sky. They both realized this was the beginning of their forever, and at this moment it felt more than wonderful.

**This concludes the short story, "Veiled Hearts." I'm honored that so many of you have taken the time to read and review my work, thank you so much. If I decide to carry on, I will write a series of skits, Tara's POV, called "Wild Nights are Calling." This short story will highlight Tara's descent into the world of SAMCRO with some smut thrown in for good measure. I couldn't include smut in this story because of Tara's innocence. But she won't be innocent any longer in the next segment, so anything goes, LOL. I figure we all need something light-hearted and different after the end of last season, so why not?**

**Until then, take care.**


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